Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Yeah, we know… Old news. We don’t care ‘cuz we think this joke will make ya’ laugh anyways!

This is the truth if it was ever spoken, enjoy.

In honor of Nadya Suleman the mother of the octuplets, Denny’s is offering a new breakfast meal:

You get fourteen eggs, NO SAUSAGE, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.

Americas Best MySpace Babies Comments

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man.

He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Corryong back country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions.

I finally arrived over an hour late and saw that the funeral bloke had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place and earth covered most of it.

I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this poor, homeless man.

And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I ain’t never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I was still lost…

Ever wonder how pregnant women and or new mothers named Rosemary felt after the movie Rosemary’s Baby came out in the late 60’s? I mean, seriously… Just imagine sitting in the park on a bench and seeing your friend (or neighbor) Rosemary pushing her newborn in a stroller. Would you say, “Oh look! There’s Rosemary’s baby” and not feel at least a LITTLE bit weird?

Just wondering…

Americas Best MySpace Babies Comments

After a long day at the office I sat down on the couch next to my wife who turned and asked me, “What’s on the TV tonight?”

Without thinking I answered, “Dust.”

Word of advice: Despite its light and fluffy appearance, a feather duster HURTS when it hits you at speeds topping 100 mph.

I took my wife to a fancy French restaurant in the rich part of town the otehr night and for some strange reason the waiter took my order first.

Not wanting to make a scene, I said, “I’ll have the strip steak cooked medium rare, please.”

In a snooty French accent he then asked, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

Never got to eat my steak, but the doctors say I’ll be back on solid foods in a few weeks.

Last night I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Coors Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

Later I tried to explain to her how the beer would make her look ten times better at night than the cold cream.

The swelling in my right eye finally went down enough for me to see around three this afternoon.

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No,” she quickly answered and then turned away.

Thinking I could win her over with charm, I then asked, “Is that your final answer?”

This time she didn’t even turn around before simply saying, “No.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend…”

I had no idea you could get a concussion from a cell phone…

I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

Needless to say I spent our anniversary alone, bleeding, and in the emergency room.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this Father?”

The father, never having seen an elevator before, responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son….. “Go get your Mother.”