Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Bodily Functions’ Category

Even the mighty Blakk Frogg cannot make up a story like this.

Yang Hu was left in agony after severing his manhood from his body, and decided to CYCLE to the hospital to have it re-attached to his body.

But rather than prep him for immediate surgery, doctors told him to get on his bike again and go home because he FORGOT to bring it with him.

Yang, from Jiaxing, in Zhejiang province, east China, eventually rode home to pick up his penis but doctors hit him with yet more bad news – it had been without blood for too long and was therefore impossible to re-attach.

The 26-year-old was depressed at his single life since he moved to the city and began long hours at a clothing factory, according to pals.

His depression grew so bad that he cut off his penis in a sudden act of haste, believing it would stop him thinking about finding a lover.

Yang’s pals have now blasted the doctors at the hospital for not providing an ambulance for him to go home and collect his penis.

They said that his private parts could have been saved if he hadn’t had to cycle back, taking up valuable time. ( source )

Missing Manhood Photo

That article left Blakk Frogg with sooooooo many unanswered questions. In no particular order, here’s just a few of those questions:

  1. Does this man also believe that in order to stop thinking about food he could cut out his stomach?
  2. Do you think anyone noticed a man with a bloody crotch cycling down Main Street or do things like that happen on a regular basis in that part of the world?
  3. Why did this man not call an ambulance for the first leg of his journey OR insist on an ambulance for the return trip home to retrieve his severed manhood?
  4. Who took the picture of this man laying on a bed w/ a bloody crotch and sold it to the media? One of his pals? One of the same pals that ‘blasted’ the doctors for not offering more assistance?
  5. Speaking of pals, if Blakk Frogg EVER got the hankering to lop off his manhood… he certainly would not expect ANY of his pals to EVER say a WORD in his defense afterword. With that in mind, where were this guy’s ‘concerned pals’ BEFORE he got the urge to sever himself from his one-eyed love snake?
  6. Oh, and what did that first phone call to one of the pals sound like? “Hey, Bob, it’s me, Yang… and I’m at the hospital. Any chance you can come down here? Huh? What’s wrong? Welllll, I kinda’ cut off my wiener. Yeah, my wiener. Hello? Hello? Bob? Are you there? Are you laughing at me?”

Yep. Yang will unfortunately live to regret his actions. If he was depressed before, boy oh boy will things get worse once the painkillers wear off!

Two buddies, George and Terry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Terry throws up all over himself. “Oh, no. Now Carolyn will kill me!”

George says, “Don’t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell Carolyn that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill.”

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually, Terry strolls into his home where Carolyn starts to give him a really hard

“You reek of alcohol and you’ve puked all over yourself! My God, you’re disgusting!”

Speaking very carefully and doing his best not to slur, Terry says, “Nowainaminit, I can e’splain everythin! Itsh not wha j! ew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me . . . he had one too many and he juss couldin hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an’gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!”

Carolyn looks in the breast pocket and says, “But this is forty bucks!”

“Oh, yeah… I almos’ fergot, … he shhhit in my pants, too.”

Although the whole ‘talking babies’ thing got played out YEARS AGO, every once in a while a funny picture surfaces… like this one:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

With the approach of Halloween comes the inevitable slew of interesting and unusual costume pictures getting posted on the Internet. Today we’d like to highlight a Halloween costume that we believe may win first prize for most disgusting Halloween costume ever. Enjoy!

Tampon Ninja
Most Disgusting Halloween Costume Idea: Tampon Ninja

For those of you NOT interested in dressing up as a female hygiene product assassin, the Frogg Wear Halloween Blog. It’s got more than 2,000 costumes and costume accessories for kids and adults to browse through. Definitely a good place to look for costume ideas!

Your loyal friend Blakk Frogg did NOT make this up:

Nintendo’s Wii controllers have wreaked havoc on flat screen TVs and tweaked more than a few elbows. That’s nothing compared to one UK woman’s claim that a tumble from the Wii Fit balance board turned her into a sex addict.

News service ANI reports that Amanda Flowers, 24, a catering worker in Manchester, England, damaged a nerve when she fell from the Fit board. When the slightest vibrations — cell phones, appliances — began to turn her on, she sought medical care. A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome, a rare and mysterious disorder the doctor linked to Flowers’ damaged nerve.

ANI reports that Flowers now “needs 10 sex sessions a day” to satisfy her sexual arousal. “With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply,” she told the news service. “Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me.” ( source )

Certainly you tuned into this blog posting for one of several reasons:

  1. You own a Wii Fit Console and wanted to find out how you, too, could become a sex addict.

  2. If true, the story of a Wii Fit Console turning a woman into a sex addict will serve as the final reason you need to convince yourself to go out and buy one.

  3. You already have an addiction to sex and want something ‘plausible’ and/or ‘scientific’ to blame it on.

  4. You fear that your current (unattractive) sex partner may suffer a similar fate and you want to know if you need to sabotage his/her Wii Fit Console so you don’t wind up having to ‘do the nasty’ 10 times a day to satisfy their needs.

So… What other reasons can YOU think of that caused people to flock to this blog posting, huh?

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

No one with an IQ over 25 would disagree with the following statement: Blakk Frogg eats, breathes and sleeps sarcasm… when he’s not eating copious amounts of bacon and drinking too much beer!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s hairy butt!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s hairy butt!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s hairy butt!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s hairy butt!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s hairy butt!

It amazes Blakk Frogg that signs like this get posted. Seriously, folks… If you have to look at a sign like this for instructions on how to properly check a baby’s diaper, well, maybe you ought not to have had children in the first place! Does it take a rocket scientist to figure out that jamming your hand down the back of a diaper to check for poop will end badly most times?

Americas Best MySpace Comments

free jokes, comments and graphics

Oh, now you certainly didn’t think Blakk Frogg had nothing more to add to this early morning posting, did you? Shame on you! Blakk Frogg can ALWAYS find a way to expand on something as ridiculous as diaper changing instructions!

Watch this:

Americas Best MySpace Comments

free jokes, comments and graphics

Yep. He got the ‘poo finger’ and wants to wipe it on you!

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”

The teacher replied, ‘Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’

Please use the word ‘ur-i-nate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a TEN!”

find more fun on Simply Frogg

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Last night as Blakk Frogg lamented over having to go to bed alone it suddenly occured to him that he had the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion for a night of raunchy, hair-pulling sex cannot safely do… so he let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and his feet to get real warm, real fast.

The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

OK, this got on Blakk Frogg‘s nerves last night.

Why do some guys feel the need to grunt, groan, sigh loudly and/or say, “Ohhhhhhh…..? Whew. Oh boy this feels good” while using the urinal in a public restroom? Do they think anyone CARES to hear that sort of thing?

Better question: Do they do that at home as well or do they save those special performances for public outings?

So fellas, if you fall into the category of ‘Dipshits Who Do That’, please STOP.

No one cares about or wants to share in your moments of personal joy at the urinal.

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

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About This Site

First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.

  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]