Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Posts Tagged ‘adultery

05 May, 2009

Bought a Porsche for $15

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to fuss, “Where did you get that car???!!!”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to panic and asked. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?” they said.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “I don’t know her name; they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh, my goodness,” moaned the mother to the boy’s father, “John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know what was going on.

“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. The secretary took his money and left him after they arrived. He called me and claimed he was robbed and stranded. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, “Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me.”

His wife was hurt, but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.”

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, and I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.”

The husband froze at the top of his back swing, and then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted, “You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul…and all these years you’ve been playing off the ladies tees!”

Some things are sacred.

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, “Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat, and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy said, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right ?”

Murphy shook his head and said, “No, Father, after you talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”


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17 Feb, 2008

Groom Gets Revenge

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Humor|Sex|Sex Joke

Wow. Blakk Frogg thinks the groom deserves a medal for courage under fire. For real. No lie. Seriously. He means it.

“You’ve got to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it on his show.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the guests. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the Bride’s and his family and his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone and asked them to open up their envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was an 8×10 glossy of his new bride having sex with the Best Man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After watching the guests reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said “F— You!”, then he turned to his bride and said, “F— You!”.

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said “I’m outta here!”

He had the marriage annulled the next day.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing ever happened.

His Revenge: making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000.00 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think he might get a MasterCard “priceless” commercial out of this?

  • Elegant Wedding Reception for 300 guests: $32,000
  • Wedding Photographs: $3,000
  • Honeymoon in Maui: $8,500

The look on everyone’s face when they saw the 8×10 of the bride humping the best man? PRICELESS!

There are some things that money can’t buy, for everything else there’s MASTERCARD!

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home.

“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.

“I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.”

She looked down at his shoes and said: “You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”


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14 Feb, 2008

Couple’s Ugly Son

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sex|Sex Joke

Blakk Frogg says, “Vanity can lead a man to an ugly truth he’d rather not know.”

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby.

Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: “Not this time!”


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12 Feb, 2008

New Bedroom Statue

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sex|Sex Joke

Blakk Frogg says, “Modern art way too confusing. Thank goodness for old fashioned porn!”

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.” She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh it’s a statue,” she replied, “the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.”

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. “Here,” he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and puts the guy’s dick in the clamp. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.

The man, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO.. TO.. CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?”

The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:

“Nope. You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire.”

——————-

Blakk Frogg has seen a case where ‘sex’ and fire have come together in the past…..


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  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
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