While trolling through some older web pages in Blakk Frogg’s portfolio of fun he came across this older piece that he feels needs to get re-published. Enjoy!
Some rumors ring true. Blakk Frogg has some serious height issues. Some people call him Extra Tall. Others refer to him as a Giant. Everyone calls him an a$$hole.
Below you will see true statements from people regarding Blakk Frogg’s 6’8″ stature and the responses he gave:
– Them: Wow. You must have a hard time finding clothes!
– Blakk Frogg: Not really. With all two stores in the state carrying things in my size, well, it’s quite easy to find old, out-dated crap no one else would wear.
– Them: Where do you find shoes that big?
– Blakk Frogg: I don’t. I sneak up behind an appropriately sized animal and ram my foot up its ass. Shock kills the critter instantly and I then wear the carcass as a shoe until it rots and falls off or the smell gets too unbearable.
– Them (male): Wow. You’re tall. Do you have trouble kissing girls?
– Blakk Frogg: Are you asking if I’m gay? Why the hell would you think tall people are gay? Did you get molested by a man on stilts as a child?
– Them: You MUST play basketball!
– Blakk Frogg: No, actually I’m a jockey at the horse track. You should see the size of my horse!
– Them: Did you breast feed?
– Blakk Frogg: Not this morning, no.
– Them: Were your parents tall?
– Blakk Frogg: At first they were giants but as the years passed they kept appearing shorter and shorter to me…. really weird.
– Them: Were you always this tall?
– Blakk Frogg: Yes, and you should have been there to see the look on my mom’s face and the stretch marks created when she gave birth to me.
– Them: You used to drink a lot of milk, I bet.
– Blakk Frogg: Actually, I used to just take whole bites out of them. More protein that way.
– Them: What’s it like to be that tall?
– Blakk Frogg: Same as it is to be your height, except it’s easier to look down girls’ shirts.
– Them (male): At your height you must get to look down a lot of blouses, eh?
– Blakk Frogg: Yeah, and at your height you must get to look up a lot of skirts/dresses, eh?
– Them: How’s the weather up there?
– Blakk Frogg: I’m sorry. Could you repeat that? I was busy talking with God just now… and He’s PISSED that you interrupted!
– Them (female): I dated a guy your height one time.
– Blakk Frogg: Only one time? I guess he didn’t like you much, either.