Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Posts Tagged ‘wife joke

I was in Costco the other day, pushing a cart around, when I collided with a young guy also pushing his cart.

I said to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going..”

The young guy says, “That’s OK. It’s just a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

So, I said, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?”

I said, “That doesn’t matter. Let’s look for yours.”


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06 Jan, 2010

Boss Cannot Get Any Respect

Posted by: admin In: Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

americas best myspace comments

A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.

Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said…

“Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”


Americas Best MySpace Comments

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A woman stopped by unannounced at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“Justin loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch.

Finally, her husband came home.

He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said……… “What’s for dinner?”

A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long – but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.”

The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”

The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Damit, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”

The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”

The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

And the wife says “No, Only when he’s been drinking.”


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A woman, standing nude, looks into the bathroom mirror and says to her husband, “I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment.”

The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

He never heard the gunshot.


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Several men are in the locker room of a very prestigious and expensive golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, …go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$60,000”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”

MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, “Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me.”

His wife was hurt, but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.”

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, and I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.”

The husband froze at the top of his back swing, and then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted, “You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul…and all these years you’ve been playing off the ladies tees!”

Some things are sacred.

08 Jul, 2008

Nice Names for His Wife

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

Bernie was invited to his friend’s home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.

Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, “That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names.”

Morris hung his head and whispered,” To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago.”

15 Apr, 2008

How Wife Deals With Anger

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.

Husband: How does that help?

Wife: I use your toothbrush.


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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]