Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Admit it… You wish YOU knew 20 ways to play with a pussy — that wouldn’t get you arrested! Except in Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky, and parts of Wisconsin.

Yep. 20 ways to make that pussy purr. Are ya’ ready?

Oh, wait… what kind of pussy were YOU thinking about? You PERVERT!

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!”

The driver didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.

Later, that very same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, “Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!”

This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on.

He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him. “Excuse me, sir, could I help you?”

The elderly man looked up and said, “Well, sonny, you sure can. I’ve lost my toupee and I’m trying to find it. I thought I’d located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine’s parted on the side!”

Men Make the Strangest Requests!

The foundation of any relationship usually has something to do with communication. When a man and woman in a committed relationship spend a lot of time trying to figure out what thought each other has on their mind, they miss out on so many opportunities to call a divorce attorney.

The couple below will not have that problem.

Wear Your Thoughts in the Open!

One Monday morning, Roy, the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the UPS man comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.”

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, “How do you play WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The UPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responded. “Your name came up seven times.”

Grab ’em from behind and keep ’em guessing!

It never ceases to amaze Blakk Frogg that people so willingly put their personal business all over the Internet in messages… and not really knowing who or if the messages can get intercepted by others intentionally or accidentally.

In this case a woman wanted to ‘thank a recent lover’ for a truly outstanding sexual encounter and tell him that he more or less had an open invitation to come back and mount her again any time he wanted. Too bad she posted the message on her wall and not in a private message or email.

On second thought, it’s AWESOME that she screwed up by announcing to the world that she screwed him!

For anyone confused about what makes the mind of woman different from the mind of a man, well, the following comparison should clear up any confusion:

From the mind of a woman came…

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep,

One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to ‘how big is my behind?’

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

From the mind of a man came…

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac,
With huge boobs,
Who owns a bar on a golf course,

And loves to send me fishing,
And drinking.

This doesn’t rhyme,
And I don’t give a shit.

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?” Larry replies, “I was out getting a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?” “I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates!” he said proudly.

“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”

“Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.”

Larry is recovering in room 232 at Mercy Hospital.

Visit Americas-Best.Com for…
Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.

“Is this your husband?” he nervously asks.

“No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him.

“Your boyfriend, then?” he continues.

“No, not at all,” she says, nibbling away at his ear.

“Is it your dad or your brother?” he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

“No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!”
she answers.

“Well, who in the hell is he, then?” he demands.

She whispers in his ear “That’s me before the surgery.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

I went to a psychiatrist because I was having severe problems with my sex life. The psychiatrist asked me a lot of questions, but didn’t seem to be getting a clear picture of my problems.

Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch your girlfriend’s face while you’re having sex?”

“Well, yes, I did once.”

“Well, how did she look?”

“Oh boy… she looked VERY angry!”

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, “Well that’s very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend’s face once during sex. That seems somewhat unusual to me. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?”

“She was watching us through the window!”

Sarcastic Picture Comments

Just… WOW. When Blakk Frogg read this Dear Abby article he nearly choked on his breakfast. Ha ha. 18-yr old daughter lost her job and now wants to become a prostitute.

Sound like something too hard to believe? Read the full article here on Yahoo! and see for yourself, ua’ filthy bunch of non-believers!

Blakk Frogg’s Humble Opinion

Hilarious. An eighteen year old honestly believes that selling her body to any Tom, DICK or Harry will allow her to make more money and live a better life. What the Hell kind of upbringing did this girl have that she would really think a life of debauchery for hire on the seedy (another good pun!) side of life makes any kind of sense?

Congratulations, Mom (and others), on waiting until the last minute to let your daughter know that a fast-paced career on her knees won’t pay off in the end.

There will be no happy ending; except for the customer.

Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Please note that although Blakk Frogg opted to use the above funny stripper joke image in this posting, he does NOT equate adult entertainment w/ prostitution. He definitely sees a difference between a young woman ‘dancing for dollars’ around poles and a young woman spreading her holes for strangers’ poles!