Blakk Frogg Says. . .   

Archive for the 'Sex Joke' Category

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed [...]

 

You can always find it
You can be Satisfied even if it is soft
You can enjoy it with no risk while driving
You can take your time and have it slowly, slowly
You can have it and enjoy it even in front of your mom
If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won’t mind
Two people from the [...]

 

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, “This is your Captain. We’re on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area”.
He forgets to switch off the intercom. [...]

 

Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new [...]

 

Blakk Frogg loves a good romantic poem… but there ain’t a damn thing romantic about this one! Read at own risk!
Penis breath, a lover’s dread,
Is what you get when you give head.
Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee.
It’s times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.
But it’s too [...]

 

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest.
The [...]

 

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.
Man: So, what [...]

 

As ususal we have waded through about half a billion emails asking us to PLEASE post the most popular postings on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog. . . and since we FEEL like it, we will do just that. Only THIS time we will break them down into two of the more popular categories: Redneck [...]

 

God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?”
Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”
God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect.”
Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”
God says, [...]

 

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in and she says, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment”.
He, thinking it’s his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.
Afterwards he says, “What was that all about?”
She says, “the egg timer’s broken.”

 

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