Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Posts Tagged ‘political joke

Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U.S. involvement in Iraq, here’s a sobering statistic:

There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theatre of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths.

That gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period.

That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. Capital than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington DC.

A cocky representative from the Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and said to the farmer, “I’m here to inspect your farm.”

The old farmer said “OK, but whatever you do, don’t go in the field on the left.”

The Agriculture representative said, “Look mister, I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I wish, WHENEVER I wish, on ANY agricultural land, no questions asked or answered. Do you understand, THAT?”

The farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the D of A Rep running for the fence, his briefcase and papers flying like confetti. Close behind was the farmer’s huge-horned prize bull, which was mad as a nest of hornets. The bull was gaining on the Rep at every step and the Rep started screaming like a girl.

The Old farmer yelled, “Show HIM your card!”

A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were covered with clocks. He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the clocks were for.

She replied that everyone in the world had a clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second.

He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was told that it was Mother Teresa’s.

He then asked where George W. Bush’s clock was.

The woman replied “It’s in the kitchen. We’re using it as a ceiling fan.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

An Israeli doctor says “Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

A German doctor says “That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor says “In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.”

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says “You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House for two years, and now half the country is looking for work.”

There were three plastic surgeons having cocktails and boasting on particular skills and achievements.

The first doctor says, “I’m so good that one patient of mine lost all the digits of both hands. I reattached them with such cunning that today his is an award-winning concert pianist who plays all over the world.”

The second doctor says, “I’m better for I had a patient who lost both his arms and legs. I reattached with such artistry that today his is an olympic gold medalist in both winter and summer games.”

The third doctor says, “Yes, those are OK, but I had a patient once and all I had to work with was a cowboy hat and an asshole and today he is president of the United States.”

Blakk Frogg does not often delve into politics so it doesn’t matter what party you belong to – this is funny:

Allegedly from a show on Canadian TV, a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton during his stand-up comedy routine. . .

Yep, that’s right – I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.

  • Number 1 – He played the sax.
  • Number 2 – He smoked weed.
  • Number 3 – He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him… his wife works, and he don’t! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “ClintonSoup,” in honor of one of the nations’ most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do the Hanky Panky between the Bushes.

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped and fell over the bridge
railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The 1st kid said, “I want to go to Disneyland.”

Hillary said, “No problem, I’ll take you there on my special Senator’s airplane.”

The 2nd kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan’s.”

Hillary said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!”

The 3rd kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!”

Hillary was a little perplexed by this and said, “But you don’t look like you’re handicapped.”

The kid said, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, “You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy.”

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, “I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy.”

Cheney added, “That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy.”

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, “Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.”

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.

  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]