Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

For one evening each year children (and candy-starved adults) get to run around the neighborhood dressed up in strange clothing… while asking for sweet, tasty treats guaranteed to keep dentists in business for a long time to come.

To help children make the most of their Halloween experience, The Onion put together a list of tips and tricks that will make this the best Halloween EVER!

When it comes to selecting a costume, remain flexible. Some beloved public figure could suddenly die, and you wouldn’t want to miss your chance to make fun of that. Reopening any partially healed wounds is a fun and easy way to save money on expensive costumes.

 

When assembling a trick-or-treating group, remember to fill your ranks with the brains, the muscle, the looks, and the wildcard.

 

Leave Randy at home. He can barely walk in that panda costume and he’ll only slow you down.

 

Goblins and ghosts can be frightening for young children. Parents should prepare them by startling them in costume at all hours for several weeks leading up to Halloween.

 

Houses with the lights out mean no one’s home, so go in through the garage and help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.

 

To maximize your route, start early on the East Coast and trick-or-treat westward with the sunset.

 

If you encounter a bowl of candy left unattended on a front porch, consult the latest census data and take the percentage of candy allotted to you based on population.

 

Criminals love to poison the Crunch bars, so you’d better just give those and anything with nougat to Mommy.

There you have it, folks: some real world advice on maximizing your Halloween haul! Now get out there score you some super sized sugar snacks!

‘Tis the season for Holiday parties, long nights of sipping spiked eggnog with friends, and ugly sweater wine parties… so before you think about getting behind the wheel after a social event involving alcohol this Holiday Season, please remember this short story before making up your mind:

With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends. Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.

That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before – I took a cab home.

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise… as I had never driven a cab before, I don’t know where I got it and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it.

In all seriousness, though…

No matter what time of year it is, please think about the risks associated with driving under the influence before getting behind the wheel. We speak from experience when we say the problems associated with even the slightest ‘issue’ that can arise from drinking and driving last far longer than you want… The serious ones, like loss of life — be it yours, a loved one’s, or a stranger’s — speak for themselves.

If ya’ cannot control your thirst, then you certainly have no business trying to control a car!

31 Mar, 2014

Asking for a Raise at Work

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes

Kevin walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me and I before I make a decision, I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.”

After a few minutes of intense haggling, the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise and Kevin happily gets up to leave.

“By the way”, asks the boss as Kevin is getting up, “which three companies are after you?”

“The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Kevin replied.


Americas Best
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Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority recently found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

During the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the birds’ beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by impact with cars.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine a cause for the disproportionate percentage of truck kills versus car kills.

The Behaviorist concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a lookout crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Truck.”


Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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A man once asked his doctor for advice on living a long time.

The doctor said, “Marry a nice girl and live in Nebraska.”

The man asked, “Will that really help me to live longer?”

The doctor said, “Maybe not, but it will SEEM longer.”

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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]