Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, “Are there any friendly bears listening?”

After a moment, another voice replied, “Yes, I’m a friendly bear,” and then another voice, “I’m a friendly bear too!”

At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link.

When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, “You’re not a very friendly bear, are you?”

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If you’ve not yet checked out Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog, a pack of horny bears will ravgage your bunghole and leave you lying naked on the floor of a truckstop restroom.

A small zoo in Oklahoma had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. “First”, Bobby Lee said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.”

The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. “Second”, he said, “You can’t never tell no one about this.”

The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. “Third”, Bobby Lee said, “I want all the chil’drun raised as Baptist.”

Once again it was agreed.

4. “And last of all”, Bobby Lee stated, “You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00.”

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Hey, you! Read Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog or someone gets a fork in the eye at lunch tomorrow!

So what the hell has the rest of the world read while you surfed through endless pages of barely dressed girls over the past month? So glad you asked because below you will find the most popular blog entries from one of Blakk Frogg’s free humor/sarcasm websites.

(1) Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!

(2) Definition of the Perfect Woman

(3) SarcasticMySpaceComments.Com’s Most Popular MySpace Comments for September 2007

(4) Adults Only Links Page

(5) Shave That Pussy, Please

(6) Drunk Dialing Rule Book

(7) Why Some College Girls Get Bad Grades

(8) Strange Pussy in the Apartment at 6 AM

(9) Why Big Breasted Women Have Bad Aim

(10) Take the Are You Gay Test For Guys

Got time on your hands instead of a water-based lubricant? Go and laugh your ass off at Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog For those WITH a water, or petrolem-base lubricant on their hands, have you seen Da’ Blakk Frogg Sex Blog yet?

That’s it, time to do laundry…. The pile of clothes on Blakk Frogg’s floor has taken over and he must now reclaim his own bedroom. Pathetic, ain’t he?

– blakk frogg

Ready for the Most Popular MySpace Comments in October 2007 on Americas Best?

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Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

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1,400+ More MySpace Comments

For years Blakk Frogg has struggled with the fact that millions of unlucky, or just plain slow, frogs lose their legs because some yuppie or dork trying to impress their girlfriend orders them as an appetizer at a French restaurant.  To make matters worse, recently Blakk Frogg has heard rumors that Chinese all-you-can-shove-down-your-throat buffets have started offering them as well.  “The horror….. The HORror…” (reference: dying words of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now)

Picture millions of crippled, legless amphibians drifting around society with no one to look up to, no one to admire…. No WONDER their suicide rate has topped that of radical terrorists in the past few years!

Those days, however, have come to an end.  Thanks to a special grant from an anonymous donor who lives at 147 East 15th Street in Fairbanks, Alaska, crippled frogs worldwide can cheer on their favorite fellow legless amphibian in the Crippled Frog Olympics!  See below, please:

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Oh sure, these races lack the excitement of NASCAR or Formula 1 Racing but the little guys have heart, lots and lots of heart.  Just no legs.

Why do so many people have have such a hard time finding suitable companions?  Why can’t the right mate find them?  These two questions have plagued Blakk Frogg for a very long time…. until now.

Apparently, some morons in the Department of Transportation decided to put signs up around town and, well, you’ll understand WHY everyone has so much trouble finding happiness.  See below:

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Now that we have the problem figured out, all we have to do is figure out HOW to get all 67,000,000 of these signs down.

Sporting events have always drawn large crowds and with so many events and types of sports to choose from, some of the slower sports have adopted the policy of having Crowd Participation events where fans in the stands get to interact up close and personal with some of their favorite, and least favorite, athletic personalities. See below for an example of such an event.

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Note: The player suffered only minor injury from the overzealous fan’s punch. The fan, on the other hand, spent 3 days in intensive care after getting rushed to the emergency romm for massive internal bleeding caused by a splintered Louisville Slugger getting rammed fast, hard and deep into his rectal cavity. Although the lacerations and abrasions did not threaten the fan’s life directly and cause the extended stay, the fan’s newly discovered allergy to pine tar did.

The infamous Blakk Frogg has always warned people to watch what they eat… because one never knows when a friend, or foe, may have “slipped a little green, inside their spaghetti” (from Biz Markie’s Pickin’ Boogers Song).

Now, however, thanks to the folks responsible for Americas Best MySpace Comments, the infamous Blakk Frogg also suggests that people also watch WHERE they eat. See below for details:

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The above image raises questions, oh yes it does:

1) Is there a Mrs. Tube Steak wandering the streets alone, desperate for a set of buns to get between before getting smothered with the special meat sauce?

2) What the hell’s IN the special meat sauce?

Now that Blakk Frogg’s Sarcasm has most likely ruined your ability to have lunch, he, too, will now go and puke up his breakfast.

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A recent report issued by the folks at Simply Frogg announced to the world that some people just cannot handle the tough and strenuous rigors of high level athletic competition… and that others cannot handle simple garbage collection duties.

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Yeah, the word, ‘ouch’ comes to mind at times like this.

In a strange and unusual series of events, Blakk Frogg came across thye carcass of a world-renowned actor named ‘Stuart Little’ last night.  While Blakk Frogg refuses to say WHY he visited an area of The City known for prostitution, gambling drugs and free wireless internet… the fact remains that Stuart Little has, in fact, passed on. View pic below for details:

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Yeah, sure,that looks like nothing like Stuart Little.  So what.  The title got you to click the link, right? 😛