Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

So what the hell has the rest of the world read while you surfed through endless pages of barely dressed girls over the past month? So glad you asked because below you will find the most popular blog entries from one of Blakk Frogg’s free humor/sarcasm websites.

(1) Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!

(2) Definition of the Perfect Woman

(3) SarcasticMySpaceComments.Com’s Most Popular MySpace Comments for September 2007

(4) Adults Only Links Page

(5) Shave That Pussy, Please

(6) Drunk Dialing Rule Book

(7) Why Some College Girls Get Bad Grades

(8) Strange Pussy in the Apartment at 6 AM

(9) Why Big Breasted Women Have Bad Aim

(10) Take the Are You Gay Test For Guys

Got time on your hands instead of a water-based lubricant? Go and laugh your ass off at Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog For those WITH a water, or petrolem-base lubricant on their hands, have you seen Da’ Blakk Frogg Sex Blog yet?

That’s it, time to do laundry…. The pile of clothes on Blakk Frogg’s floor has taken over and he must now reclaim his own bedroom. Pathetic, ain’t he?

– blakk frogg

Ready for the Most Popular MySpace Comments in October 2007 on Americas Best?

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Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

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Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

Free MySpace Comments From Americas Best

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For years Blakk Frogg has struggled with the fact that millions of unlucky, or just plain slow, frogs lose their legs because some yuppie or dork trying to impress their girlfriend orders them as an appetizer at a French restaurant.  To make matters worse, recently Blakk Frogg has heard rumors that Chinese all-you-can-shove-down-your-throat buffets have started offering them as well.  “The horror….. The HORror…” (reference: dying words of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now)

Picture millions of crippled, legless amphibians drifting around society with no one to look up to, no one to admire…. No WONDER their suicide rate has topped that of radical terrorists in the past few years!

Those days, however, have come to an end.  Thanks to a special grant from an anonymous donor who lives at 147 East 15th Street in Fairbanks, Alaska, crippled frogs worldwide can cheer on their favorite fellow legless amphibian in the Crippled Frog Olympics!  See below, please:

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Oh sure, these races lack the excitement of NASCAR or Formula 1 Racing but the little guys have heart, lots and lots of heart.  Just no legs.

Why do so many people have have such a hard time finding suitable companions?  Why can’t the right mate find them?  These two questions have plagued Blakk Frogg for a very long time…. until now.

Apparently, some morons in the Department of Transportation decided to put signs up around town and, well, you’ll understand WHY everyone has so much trouble finding happiness.  See below:

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Now that we have the problem figured out, all we have to do is figure out HOW to get all 67,000,000 of these signs down.

Sporting events have always drawn large crowds and with so many events and types of sports to choose from, some of the slower sports have adopted the policy of having Crowd Participation events where fans in the stands get to interact up close and personal with some of their favorite, and least favorite, athletic personalities. See below for an example of such an event.

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Note: The player suffered only minor injury from the overzealous fan’s punch. The fan, on the other hand, spent 3 days in intensive care after getting rushed to the emergency romm for massive internal bleeding caused by a splintered Louisville Slugger getting rammed fast, hard and deep into his rectal cavity. Although the lacerations and abrasions did not threaten the fan’s life directly and cause the extended stay, the fan’s newly discovered allergy to pine tar did.

A recent report issued by the folks at Simply Frogg announced to the world that some people just cannot handle the tough and strenuous rigors of high level athletic competition… and that others cannot handle simple garbage collection duties.

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Yeah, the word, ‘ouch’ comes to mind at times like this.

In a strange and unusual series of events, Blakk Frogg came across thye carcass of a world-renowned actor named ‘Stuart Little’ last night.  While Blakk Frogg refuses to say WHY he visited an area of The City known for prostitution, gambling drugs and free wireless internet… the fact remains that Stuart Little has, in fact, passed on. View pic below for details:

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Yeah, sure,that looks like nothing like Stuart Little.  So what.  The title got you to click the link, right? 😛

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists..

13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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Two men are driving through Georgia when they get pulled over by a State Trooper.

The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK! The cop smacks him in the head with the stick.

“What the hell was that for?” the driver asks.

“You’re in Georgia, Boy,” the trooper answers. “When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car.”

“I’m sorry, Officer,” the driver says, “I’m not from around here.”

The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license — he’s clean — so gives the guy his license back.

The trooper THEN walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.

The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK! The trooper smacks HIM on the head with the nightstick.

“What’d you do that for,” the passenger asks.

“Just making your wish come true,” replies the trooper.

“Making WHAT wish come true,” the passenger asks.

“Because I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna turn to your buddy and say, ‘I wish that asshole would’ve tried that shit with me!'”

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“Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”

“Take your hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

“Can you run faster then 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun.”

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“So you don’t know how to fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?”

“Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh…did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?”

“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

“The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

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“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rodes, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop.”

“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

“In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.”

“Just how big were those two beers?”

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“No sit we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

“I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.”

“You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.”

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