Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?”

The waiter replied, “Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are the testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!”

The American, though momentarily daunted, said, “What the hell, I’m on vacation! Bring me an order!”

The waiter replied, “I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!”

The next morning, the American returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said… “These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!”

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Si senor. Sometimes the bull wins.”

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A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again, and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again, he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?’

‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth,’ she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then?’

The old lady replied, ‘We just love the chocolate around them.’

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On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, “Are there any friendly bears listening?”

After a moment, another voice replied, “Yes, I’m a friendly bear,” and then another voice, “I’m a friendly bear too!”

At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link.

When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, “You’re not a very friendly bear, are you?”

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If you’ve not yet checked out Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog, a pack of horny bears will ravgage your bunghole and leave you lying naked on the floor of a truckstop restroom.

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The infamous Blakk Frogg has always warned people to watch what they eat… because one never knows when a friend, or foe, may have “slipped a little green, inside their spaghetti” (from Biz Markie’s Pickin’ Boogers Song).

Now, however, thanks to the folks responsible for Americas Best MySpace Comments, the infamous Blakk Frogg also suggests that people also watch WHERE they eat. See below for details:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

The above image raises questions, oh yes it does:

1) Is there a Mrs. Tube Steak wandering the streets alone, desperate for a set of buns to get between before getting smothered with the special meat sauce?

2) What the hell’s IN the special meat sauce?

Now that Blakk Frogg’s Sarcasm has most likely ruined your ability to have lunch, he, too, will now go and puke up his breakfast.

Americas-Best.Com Makes the Booty Go… Pa-DOW!

A recent report issued by the folks at Simply Frogg announced to the world that some people just cannot handle the tough and strenuous rigors of high level athletic competition… and that others cannot handle simple garbage collection duties.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Yeah, the word, ‘ouch’ comes to mind at times like this.

In a strange and unusual series of events, Blakk Frogg came across thye carcass of a world-renowned actor named ‘Stuart Little’ last night.  While Blakk Frogg refuses to say WHY he visited an area of The City known for prostitution, gambling drugs and free wireless internet… the fact remains that Stuart Little has, in fact, passed on. View pic below for details:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Yeah, sure,that looks like nothing like Stuart Little.  So what.  The title got you to click the link, right? 😛

Last night as I lamented over having to go to bed alone it dawned on me that I have the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion cannot safely do… so I let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and my feet to get real warm, real fast.

The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.

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OK, this got on Blakk Frogg’s nerves last night.

Why do some guys feel the need to grunt, groan, sigh loudly and/or say, “Ohhhhhhh…..  Whew. Oh boy this feels good” while using the urinal in a public restroom? Do they think anyone CARES to hear that sort of thing?

Better question: Do they do that at home as well or do they save those special performances for public outings?

So fellas, if you fall into the category of Dipshit Who Does This, please STOP. No one cares about your moments of joy at the urinal.

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

From time to time Blakk Frogg writes some rather interesting emails to good friends…. and this time he has a few things to say about his sex life:

“I wouldn’t be able to last more than 15 seconds w/ a woman these days ‘cuz of stress and “lack recent wiener activity.”  She’d say, “Hi” and I’d already have to clean the protein smears from my underwear.  So, so wrong and unfair to me.  Ever hear of blue balls?  Mine are burgundy.”

“I’m the walking, talking Special Olympics of sex.”