Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Blakk Frogg says, “Sometimes family gets in the way of a person’s natural recovery.”

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The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, so she could be a part of her 100th birthday celebration.

Grandma couldn’t speak very well, so she wrote notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some attentive family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows under her right side.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the loving family members grabbed her and stuffed pillows under her, this time on the left side on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the devoted family members again grabbed her and set her upright. They then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, “Hi Grandma, you’re looking good! How are they treating you?”

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, “They won’t let me fart.”

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Tired of draining valuable natural resources each and every time you plug in that monstrous vibrator? Feeling guilty over all the batteries your dildo destroys when you need a little ‘stress relief’?

Relax! Now you can enjoy a luxury model sex toy w/o killing the environment!

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I know, I know…. Yuck. Deal with it!

– blakk frogg

Wanna’ know what all the COOL people in your office have been laughing at?  Curious to know why Steve shot coffee out of his nose this morning?  Of course you are!  Read the most popular Blakk Frogg Blog postings & pages for the last 30 days on Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog and rejoin the land of the amused!

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Last night as I lamented over having to go to bed alone it dawned on me that I have the ability to do something that a fella shacked up with a female companion cannot safely do… so I let loose a 10 second anal explosion that caused the covers at the end of the bed to fly up and my feet to get real warm, real fast.

The unlucky bastard with a woman would’ve gotten smacked for that.

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OK, this got on Blakk Frogg’s nerves last night.

Why do some guys feel the need to grunt, groan, sigh loudly and/or say, “Ohhhhhhh…..  Whew. Oh boy this feels good” while using the urinal in a public restroom? Do they think anyone CARES to hear that sort of thing?

Better question: Do they do that at home as well or do they save those special performances for public outings?

So fellas, if you fall into the category of Dipshit Who Does This, please STOP. No one cares about your moments of joy at the urinal.

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, “What the heck is going on here?”

The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost.”

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Oh for the sake of Pete, WHY does Blakk Frogg post things like this and WHY do you keep clicking the link to see stuff like this?

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“Oh, the humanity!” exclaimed the poor listless soul who opened this blog entry and saw…. THIS!

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Blakk Frogg figured that if HE had to endure this image so early in the damn morning, well, so should the rest of you.

As always, have a nice day…. and may this image haunt you for all your days!

 – blakk frogg

p.s. —-> and don’t act like you won’t send that to all your ‘best friends’, either, ya’ filthy little animals!

Have you ever wondered what goes on at a Gynecologist Convention?

Do they have secret greetings and handshakes?

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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Sadly enough, that answer is……. yes.