Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Although Blakk Frogg has no desire to look like a trendy jackass, many guys in this world do… so Blakk Frogg would like to give you a helpful hint if you want to look fashionable, trendy, sexy and (rico) suave: “Act like you just shit your pants.”

Fake Motivational Poster: Just Crapped My Pants

At no time in his life has Blakk Frogg ever considered getting a tattoo and quite frankly he really does not find them very appealing… but to each their own. For those considering a tattoo, please make sure you review the picture below before deciding where the artwork will go on your body:

What Tattoo Location Really Means

So, before you commit to having ink injected (permanently) into your skin, study this map closely and THEN make your decision. Why? Because no matter how good of a job the tattoo artist does when recreating the picture you drew of a lion ripping the soul out of a demon’s rectum, some things just don’t look right on a person’s forehead.

For those searching for a way to politely decline unwanted Valentine attention, do NOT do something like this:

Do not shoot Cupid or ANYone this Valentine’s Day…
Seriously. Not. Worth. It. Seriously.

“Rejection spells the end of a fantasy, not life” — Blakk Frogg

Just… Wow. As funny as the message in this fake Valentine appears, several companies actually sell kits like this.

Love Does Not Have To Hurt… Ya’ Know?

Looking for a way to ‘ease the pain’ in someone’s life? Undercover Condoms has a few things that may do the trick.

And, as Blakk Frogg always says, safety during the ‘numbers game’ called finding love requires one to think about the possibility of catching an itch that won’t ever go away!

Blakk Frogg says, “Sorry, men and women, but all the sweets from your sweet COULD turn you into a not so delicious treat in a week or so…”

Ahem. Please use caution when consuming all those calorie bombs women AND men.

Ration the Chocolates, Everyone! Make ‘Em Last, Men & Women!

Listen here, men: Blakk Frogg KNOWS some of you need a lesson when it comes to how to, and NOT to, behave when dealing with women. So here’s REAL WORLD ADVICE that you ought to listen to…

Bad, Bad Valentine’s Day Behavior!!!

Blakk Frogg says, “Roughly nine months after Valentine’s Day a very special event can happen — and some folks didn’t intend for it to happen — so PLEASE, people, use protection w/ your sweetheart if you don’t mean to make a baby this evening!”

Just… WOW. When Blakk Frogg read this Dear Abby article he nearly choked on his breakfast. Ha ha. 18-yr old daughter lost her job and now wants to become a prostitute.

Sound like something too hard to believe? Read the full article here on Yahoo! and see for yourself, ua’ filthy bunch of non-believers!

Blakk Frogg’s Humble Opinion

Hilarious. An eighteen year old honestly believes that selling her body to any Tom, DICK or Harry will allow her to make more money and live a better life. What the Hell kind of upbringing did this girl have that she would really think a life of debauchery for hire on the seedy (another good pun!) side of life makes any kind of sense?

Congratulations, Mom (and others), on waiting until the last minute to let your daughter know that a fast-paced career on her knees won’t pay off in the end.

There will be no happy ending; except for the customer.

Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Please note that although Blakk Frogg opted to use the above funny stripper joke image in this posting, he does NOT equate adult entertainment w/ prostitution. He definitely sees a difference between a young woman ‘dancing for dollars’ around poles and a young woman spreading her holes for strangers’ poles!

With the approach of Halloween comes the inevitable slew of interesting and unusual costume pictures getting posted on the Internet. Today we’d like to highlight a Halloween costume that we believe may win first prize for most disgusting Halloween costume ever. Enjoy!

Most Disgusting Halloween Costume Idea: Tampon Ninja

For those of you NOT interested in dressing up as a female hygiene product assassin, the Frogg Wear Halloween Blog. It’s got more than 2,000 costumes and costume accessories for kids and adults to browse through. Definitely a good place to look for costume ideas!

No one appreciates the fact that ‘nut hugger’ jeans have (mostly) fallen out of fashion more than Blakk Frogg but someone REALLY needs to put limitations on the whole baggy pants epidemic that has now, as illustrated by the two Halloween Costumes below, infected Halloween.

Pull Up Your D@#n Pants, Ya’ Dolphin!

Buy a Belt, Ya’ D@#n Hippie Penguin!

Please, folks, if you value a butt crack free Halloween as much as Blakk Frogg, help these lost souls out by giving them a belt for Christmas — not one made out of animal products. For obvious reasons.