Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

THE BOSS WALKED INTO THE OFFICE ONE MORNING NOT KNOWING THAT HIS ZIPPER WAS DOWN AND HIS FLY AREA WAS WIDE OPEN.

HIS SECRETARY WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID “BOSS, THIS MORNING WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR HOUSE, DID YOU CLOSE YOUR GARAGE DOOR?”

THIS WAS NOT A PHRASE THAT HER BOSS UNDERSTOOD, SO HE WENT INTO HIS OFFICE LOOKING A BIT PUZZLED.

WHEN HE WAS ABOUT DONE WITH HIS PAPERWORK HE SUDDENLY NOTICED THAT HIS ZIPPER WAS DOWN. HE ZIPPED UP AND REMEMBERING WHAT HIS SECRETARY HAD TOLD HIM EARLIER, HE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD. HE INTENTIONALLY WENT OUT TO ASK FOR A CUP OF COFFEE FROM HIS SECRETARY.

HAVING MORE EGO THAN SENSE, HE WALKED TO HER DESK, SMIRKED AND ASKED HER, “WHEN YOU SAW THE GARAGE DOOR OPEN DID YOU SEE MY HUMMER PARKED IN THERE?”

THE SECRETARY SMILED FOR A MOMENT AND SAID, “NO BOSS, I DIDN’T. ALL I SAW WAS A MINI COOPER WITH 2 FLAT TIRES.”

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.

The husband was in the mood for a sexual action and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife’s attention.

So when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in….

P…

E…

N…

I…

S…

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time.”

1) You are bald your whole life

2) You have a hole in your head that leaks

3) Your neighbors are nuts

4) The guy behind you is an asshole, and…

5) Everytime you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

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What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

“Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!!”

After questioning 100,000 women from all walks of life, an independent survey company determined that if woman woke up with a penis for just one day, she’d do the following things:

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blowjob.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can’t hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it’s like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man’s eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9… until the balance of the 24 hours expired.

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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

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The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

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Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”.

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Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO. Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

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Bill worked in a pickle factory.

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. “What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, Bill, you didn’t” she exclaimed.

“Yes, I did.” he replied.

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh… She got fired too.”

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