Listed below please find the names and symptoms of a few dangerous computer viruses you should watch out for:
THE GEORGE BUSH — Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the mother-board and father-board bought it.
THE AL GORE — Causes your computer to just keep counting.
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THE CLINTON — Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) — Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
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THE LEWINSKY — Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
THE RONALD REAGAN — Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
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THE MIKE TYSON — Quits after two bytes.
THE OPRAH WINFREY — Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.
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THE JACK KEVORKIAN — Deletes all old files.
THE PROZAC — Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.
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THE JESSE JACKSON — Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO — Only attacks minor files.
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THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER — Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
THE LORENA BOBBITT — Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
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