Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

In the last More Bacon Please entry we talked about a bacon stuffed chicken breast. This time we will talk about a juicy bacon concoction called “Applewood Bacon Wrapped Pork Loin”.

At the same restaurant (Four Moons) where we spotted the bacon stuffed chicken breast we also spied the Applewood Bacon Wrapped Pork Loin… and ordered it.

Applewood Bacon Wrapped Pork Loin — Maple Caramelized Butternut Squash, Broccolini, Polenta Spoonbread, Savory Maple Jus

With a bacon sexy description like that, could YOU resist ordering that meal? We didn’t think so.

Applewood Bacon Wrapped Pork Loin at Four Moons Restaurant

Gorgeous looking meal, right? Tender, juicy pork loin cuddling up with good quality applewood bacon resulted in a taste so good it’d make ya’ want to slap your mama.

Verdict: The chefs at Four Moons sure do know how to make a bacon lover happy. We give this sexy bacon dish a rating of 5 strips out of a possible five!

Last weekend some family members came into town and that sort of event warrants a trip out to a fancy restaurant. Now in our experience, we have seen that most fancy restaurants don’t have any bacon items on their menus… so oh, what a sweet relief to see bacon on the menu!

Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast as described on the menu:

“Pan Roasted Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast with Summer Vegetables, Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Natural Pan Juices.”

Upon seeing Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast on the menu the decision to order it for dinner happened immediately. I mean, seriously, who can say no to bacon — especially when it gets stuffed into another meat!

Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast — Four Moons Restaurant in Orangeburg, SC

Gorgeous looking meal and you can clearly see how fat the chef had stuffed the chicken breast with bacon! And look! The giant hunk of meat even came with vegetables and sauce of some sort!

We apologize for not having pictures of the inside of the Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast. The damn thing tasted so good and disappeared so quickly of the plate that we didn’t have TIME to take any pictures.

Therefore, check your local restaurant menus for Bacon Stuffed Chicken Breast, find a swank little joint that prepares this awesome dish and find out for yourself what the inside looks like… or you can visit Four Moons Restaurant in Orangeburg, SC like we did.

First off, let me say that I have once again embarrassed myself by taking a lousy photograph… but as usual I don’t really care. This site has nothing to do with photography and everything to do with… BACON!

This morning I found myself running late because I opted to take care of a few matters around the house before leaving for work. Common sense told me to just put my shoes on, grab what I needed, and head out the front door.

As usual I told common sense to ’shove it’ and common sense… shoved back by delivering the perfect recipe for ‘late to work’. At times like this many people would begin to pray that the traffic lights stay green, pray that police officers have all taken a break from catching outrageous speeders on the highway, and pray that a good parking spot will open up right outside the office.

Hence the reason, I believe, for all those ‘God is My Co-Pilot’ stickers on people’s cars.

I don’t have one of those, or any, bumper stickers on my car. I have something far better and a lot less controversial than an overt proclamation of my religious beliefs on my ride:

+ Bacon is My Co-Pilot +

Does this mean I don’t believe in God or some other Holy Entity? Of course I do! I mean, like, seriously… Where ELSE do you think something as delectable and lovable as bacon came from?!?!?

We never claimed to have an art degree or lots of high tech photographic equipment so before you bother complaining about the poor quality of the image in this bacon blog entry, think about what we just said and feel relieved that we only photograph the bacon we eat and not ourselves eating bacon… in the bathroom.

So anyways, I awoke one day this weekend to the wonderful smell of… cat shit. No, just kidding. I awoke to the glorious aroma of bacon cooking. Apparently my girlfriend and her son got hungry before I even felt like crawling out of bed. Maybe I really DIDN’T need those last four or five beers at the tail end of the prior evening. Hmmmm…..

After gathering my wits about me and making sure I could walk down the hall without stepping on the cat, bouncing off the walls, or falling flat on my face, I sat down and allowed my eyes to focus on…

… bacon and eggs on my plate. Coincidentally, and somewhat ironically, I dare say that the photograph does an excellent job of showing you the plate of food (very tasty food) exactly as I saw it — through my half-asleep, possibly still swimming in beer eyes.

Needless to say I made quick work of the eggs and bacon and throughly enjoyed my breakfast.

Verdict: Bacon & eggs work quite well and taste quite good at hours other than 3:17 AM and locations other than Waffle House or Denny’s.

Due to the awesome timing of the bacon meal it received the coveted 5 bacon strip rating out of a possible 5. Congratulations, Bacon & Eggs!

Originally we thought about using this article to praise bacon for its wonderfully greasy nature. A trait which makes it sooooo damn good at 3:18 in the morning after a long night of drinking. No one can deny the soothing effect bacon has on a person’s stomach at that hour and under those conditions.

Something came to our attention recently, though, that has caused us to scrap the original bacon praising agenda. We will, instead, go with the alcohol theme and talk briefly about bacon flavored vodka.

Some people love it, some people hate it. We have not yet tried it. For some reason our love for beer just won’t allow us to take the bacon vodka plunge. That does not, however, mean we won’t talk about it like we know all about it. To not speak when we know nothing about a topic would make us… Boring.

No one likes Boring and Boring does not get invited to all the cool parties where hot ladies wearing bacon bikinis serve endless bacon appetizers, neverending bacon entrees, an eternity’s worth of bacon desserts… and now, apparently, they also serve a free flowing river of bacon flavored drinks.

What kind of drinks? Feast your bacon (and alcohol) loving eyes on these!

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On this super splendid Sunday morning we, the bacon lovers responsible for this bacon blog, tip our hats to DebbieDoesCakes for this artisitc masterpiece… a cake that so closely resembles a slab of bacon that even the best of butchers would get confused.

As stated before, we don’t really get down w/ sweet stuff like candy, cakes, pies and such… but this gorgeous bacon slab cake would definitely lead us into temptation!

The last time we talked about Hormel Black Label Bacon we praised it highly and started drooling as we typed its review. Though the review this time will not take as long, since we really hate to repeat ourselves and see no reason to bore you, it will suffice to say that we enjoyed the Hormel Black Label Bacon. Again.

As usual we opened up our latest pack of bacon all the way to get a good, close look at its marbled appearance and allow its smoky aroma to break free from the confines of the bacon’s hermetically sealed packaging. Then we layed it out all sexy like…

Overly dramatic? We don’t think so. No true bacon lover would think so! Shame on you for even THINKING that bacon does not deserve such care and concern… before it gets tossed into a hot pan and cooked.

Nothing makes a bacon lover happier than seeing bacon in the pan. Nope. Nothing. Bacon in the pan equals unparalleled euphoric bliss.

OK, we lied. Fresh cooked bacon in a bacon lover’s hand delivering it to the bacon lover’s mouth makes a bacon lover happier. Now on withthe show, please!

This concludes another test of the Emergency Bacon Broadcasting Network. Had this been an actual bacon emergency a man in a shredded lab coat wearing a gas mask and jogging shoes would have kicked down your door and offered you three pounds of Hormel Black Label Bacon for the low, low price of… of… Well with prices that low we can’t tell you over the air! Why? ‘Cuz we’re insaaaaaaane!

Thank you Hormel Black Label Bacon! We love you!

As much as we LOVE eating, smelling and even just talking about bacon and its meaty glory, sometimes we stumble across a bacon item that makes us… wonder how much weed (marijuana, kind bud, herb, etc.) a person had to smoke in order to come up with such an idea.

Culinary experts have successfully blended a large number of sweet and salty flavors for hundreds of years so why not combine the sweetness of fine chocolate and the salty goodness of bacon, right? With that said, we now present “Bacon Infused Chocolate” for your viewing pleasure:

A friend of ours found this bacon infused chocolate treat in a gourmet foods store which sold a variety of unique foods — some of which she said would probably not get sold at all, to anyone, if they didn’t have inflated pricetags and the word ‘gourmet’ plastered all over their labels.

Verdict: The bacon infused chocolate bar did not win our hearts despite having bacon in it. This may have happened because we felt the bacon had too smoky a flavor to it and it reminded us more of bacon flavoring than actual bacon and we don’t really get down with sweets all that often. Just not our thing, ya’ know?

Oh, and let us not forget that the candy bar cost someone we know seven or eight dollars. She could have gotten two (or more) pounds of actual real bacon for that much money!

Rating: 1 bacon slice out of 5… and that’s only ‘cuz we refuse to use fractions and nothing w/ bacon in it, no matter how horrible, deserves a rating of 0 slices.

If the very thought of taking meat and wrapping MORE meat around it does not make your mouth water, did you hit your head recently or did you get abducted by a roving band of vegetarians who brainwashed the common sense right out of you? No offense to any vegetarians reading this — as if any would anyways!

So anyways, we saw bacon in the fridge and a pack of kielbasa links. Naturally after some quick mathematics, and a few cold beers, we put two and two together… and came up with six. See below.

Gorgeous little meaty bastards, ain’t they? Makes you wanna’ fire up the grill, crank up the oven, or break out the crack torch… and cook ‘em up nice and tasty like!

We apologize for the bad grammar in that last paragraph. Not really, but we figured some of you fools might actually think we care about things like… feelings. Look, pal, we love bacon, meat and more bacon. We have no time for your silly little… feelings.

Please accept our apologies for the lame attempt at an apology contained in the previous paragraph… even though we meant every word we said. Wrote. Whatever.

Can we PLEASE get to the cooked bacon wrapped kielbasa links now?

There you have it, folks… big wieners wrapped in a slimy pink salty and stretchy sheath.

WTF? Sorry for that last description. The bacon wrapped kielbasa links looked and tasted fabulous. We didn’t mean to gross anyone out.

Actually, yes we did. Can you tell we didn’t take our meds AND downed a fifth of vodka tonight? Ha ha…

A while back we wrote about ‘slab bacon‘ and told you how we gave it a rating of 3 strips out of 5. At the end of the article we indicated that although we enjoyed ‘slab bacon‘, we probably would not eat it all that often.

Well apparently enough time had passed because we bought another pound of the stuff recently and decided to see what it would taste like if we let it sit in hot sauce overnight before throwing it in a hot pan for cooking.

Neeless to say we really do need to get lives, but let’s save that conversaton for another day and get back to the bacon.

How it cooked: We noticed a marked change in the way the bacon shriveled in the pan, as it did not curl up quite as much as our control group of slab bacon that did not sit in hot sauce all night. Additionally we noticed that the hot sauce soaked bacon seemed to stay pretty moist throughout the cooking process.

How it smelled: The majority of the hot sauce cooked off and scorched the insides of our nostrils. Thankfully we like the small of hot sauce, especially Frank’s Red Hot, so this did not prove problematic. Aside from the smell of gaseous hot sauce we detected the glorious aroma of… bacon. No surprises there.

How it looked: The finished product appeared healthy, moist, and delectable with a seductive red tint imparted by the hot sauce.

How it tasted: The first piece we tried had pretty much the same characteristics we noted when we sampled this same type of slab bacon in the past… except that it seemed a bit juicier and saltier.

Our reward from this little experiment came when we sat and chewed a piece in the same manner as a person would gnaw on a chunk of beef jerky. Wow! The wonderful taste of Frank’s Red Hot and quality bacon blended together in a spectacular fashion that we had never experienced before. Very tasty!

Verdict: Ahem. As we already said, “Very tasty!” We’ll give the experiment with hot sauce marinated slab bacon a rating of 4 strips out of 5. We think that if we ever try this experiment again, we will cook the bacon in the oven. Might lead to more hot sauce lingering in the meat!