Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Texan: “Where are you from?”

Harvard graduate: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”

Texan: “OK, where are you from, jackass?”

Sorry, but the content from this page had to move…

to Americas Best Comments & Jokes Blog

Crawford, Texas (AP) — April 13, 2007

A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President
George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where both of
the books were kept. Both of the books have been lost.

A presidential spokesperson said the president was devastated, as he had
almost finished coloring the second one.

The White House tried to call FEMA, but there was no answer.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Sorry, but we HAD to move the content on this page over to our Americas Best MySpace Comments & Jokes web site.

We apologize for any inconvenience having to ‘click’ one extra time may cause.

One day Little Susie got her “monthly bleeding” for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with Little Johnny.

Having found Johnny she told and showed him what her problem was.

Johnny’s face grew serious and he said, “You know, I’m not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off.”

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks,

“Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

OK, so everyone knows the slimebag, er, Frogg responsible for Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog loves sushi. No secret there. None at all. But how many of you know where he goes to GET his fresh, tasty, delectable, melt-in-your-mouth sushi fix, huh? Read the following items off the ‘Raw Bites’ menu from Four Moons and you’ll know why he always goes there on Wednesday night’s for Sushi Night!

“All of our Fish for our Raw Bites Menu is flown in from Hawaii especially for Four Moons. It is the Freshest fish you will find in South Carolina, far superior in quality to any Carolina Sushi Bar.”

Four Moons Sashimi Platter — Eight Pieces of Sashimi Fish, including Ahi Tuna, King Salmon, and Walu (also known as Hawaiian Butterfish, or White Tuna), plus Four Pieces of Maki Sushi Roll, served with Sushi Rice, Pickled Ginger, Tobikko Caviar, Wakame Seaweed Salad, Ponzu Sauce, Miso Mayonnaise, Wasabi, and Pickled Ginger

Ahi Tuna, Walu, King Salmon, or Broiled Eel — Available as a Roll, Spicy Roll or Nigiri Style

Surf and Turf Roll — Spicy Scallop Inside, Bison Tataki Outside

Red Dragon Roll — Spicy Ahi Tuna Inside, White Tuna Outside,
Topped with Broiled Eel and Kabayaki Sauce

Tarantula Roll — Tempura Lobster and Cucumber Inside Out
Roll with Pickled Mango and Spicy Sauce

Rice Crispy Crunch Roll — Salmon, Tuna, and Cucumber Inside, Avocado Outside, Rolled in Sesame Rice Crispies and Nori Confetti

Salmon Ménage a Trois Roll — Spicy Salmon Inside, Tempura Salmon and
Salmon Caviar Outside, with Kabayaki Sauce

Vegetable Hand Roll — Cucumber, Sweet Pepper, Carrot, Nappa
Cabbage, Wakame, Sweet Thai Chili Sauce

Lunar Eclipse Roll — Spicy Tuna Inside, Tuna and King Salmon Outside, Tobikko and Salmon Caviars

Unagi Don — Broiled Eel served over Warm Sushi Rice

Volcano — Jumbo Lump Crab and Asparagus in Spicy Sauce, Baked Until Hot and Bubbly, Topped with Tobikko Caviar and Served with Wanton Chips

Lava Drops — Spicy Tuna or Salmon, Tempura Fried and served with Kabayaki Sauce

Tataki — (Flash Seared, served with Warm Sushi Rice, Seaweed Salad and Sweet Thai Chili Sauce). Choose from Ahi Tuna or Bison Strip Loin

Salads — Wakame Seaweed Salad or Tossed Salad with Ginger Dressing

= + = + = + =

There you have it folks. The secret location for kick-ass sushi in South Carolina has gotten out: Four Moons

For those who do not like sushi, you suck. We hope an octopus takes a big, smelly seaweed dump on your head.

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to fuss, “Where did you get that car???!!!”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to panic and asked. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?” they said.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. “I don’t know her name; they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”

“Oh, my goodness,” moaned the mother to the boy’s father, “John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”

So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know what was going on.

“Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. The secretary took his money and left him after they arrived. He called me and claimed he was robbed and stranded. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”

Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.”

“Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out!”

“Actually,” said the 80-year -old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

“Do you have trouble peeing, too?” asked the 60-year old.

“No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.”

“So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?”

“No, I have one every morning at 6:30.”

Exasperated, the 60-year- old said, “You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so bad about being 80?”

“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

A Navy pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive Woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this, and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

The Navy pilot explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties….”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The Navy pilot smirks, taps his watch, and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”