Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go. Have to write to the Hefty bag people next!

Sincerely,

“Innocent” Emma

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

Blakk Frogg loves a good romantic poem… but there ain’t a damn thing romantic about this one! Read at own risk!

Penis breath, a lover’s dread,
Is what you get when you give head.

Unpleasant as it tends to be,
Be grateful that he doesn’t pee.

It’s times like this, you wonder why,
You bothered reaching for his fly.

But it’s too late, can’t be a tease,
Accept the facts, get on your knees.

You know you’ve got a job to do,
So open wide and shove it through.

Lick the tip then take it all,
Don’t drag your teeth or he might bawl.

Slide up and down, use your tongue,
And feel the precum start to run….

So when the fuck’s he gonna cum?

Just when you can’t take anymore,
You hear your lover’s mighty roar.

And when he hits that real high note,
You feel it oozing down your throat.

Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff.
Okay, already… that’s enough.

Let’s switch you say, before you gag,
And what revenge… you’re on the rag.

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Some girls come into this world with really large breasts. Studies have shown that men prefer a woman with large breasts over a flat-chested toothpick. Accordingly, the urge a woman has to get implants so she can win the heart of a narrow-minded man follows. As an example, check out this desperate asian chick who got conned into getting fake boobs from a really bad surgeon:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

So ladies, if you want a man to love you, treat you right, and not sleep with your younger, much hotter sister, get breast implants like this asian girl, but get them from a reputable surgeonm and not from Joe’s House of Boobies.

Over the years many different varieties of body piercings, anatomical mutilations and exhibitions of (literal) human art have passed before the eyes of Blakk Frogg and recently a new alteration of the human body surfaced: Breast Implants for a Tattoo.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Says, “Bigger Breasts, Please!”

I hope this breast implant blog entry has given hope to all of you who thought you had to go through life with a flat chested tattoo on your body.

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in and she says, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment”.

He, thinking it’s his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.

Afterwards he says, “What was that all about?”

She says, “the egg timer’s broken.”

1) You are bald your whole life

2) You have a hole in your head that leaks

3) Your neighbors are nuts

4) The guy behind you is an asshole, and…

5) Everytime you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?”

The man replies, “No, what do you mean?”

She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Later, the man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, “Did you call for me?” says the hairy man.

“No, what do you mean?” asks the newcomer.

“It’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.” The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. “May I help you?” she asks.

The man yells, “Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.”

“But, Sir,” she replies, “you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.”

The man replies, “Listen lady, I’m 69 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day. I’m outta here!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

SarcasticMySpace.Com has more than 1,800 sarcastic, funny, sexual and redneck myspace comments to choose from but SOME of you keep insisting that Blakk Frogg take time out of his busy schedule to list the most popular sarcastic myspace comments.

Lazy bastards! Blakk Frogg hopes you choke on the most popular sarcastic myspace comments for. . . February 2008

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

What took so long for the world renowned Blakk Frogg to post this? Simple: ‘Cuz he’s always froggin’ drunk!

More Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Though far away and (hopefully) a distant forecast for events in the life of Blakk Frogg, he must face the inevitable — and that inevitable fact deals with the idea that one day he will have to more or less PRAY that someone will touch his private parts. . . besides a licensed medical physician or an attendant at a nursing home.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

So without further ado, let us now enjoy a joke about old people and sex. . .

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, “There really is no justice in the world.”

The other little old lady asked, “What do you mean by that?”

The first little old lady replied, “Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. . .”

“Now that I’ m 80, though, the damned things grow wild on the beach. . . and I’m too old to squat!”

Yep. Some girls truly deserve the name of ‘Gold Digger’ and some guys truly deserve the name of ‘gilolo’. Why? Because they make truly ignorant statements like THIS when they think no one can hear them:

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Seriously speaking all you girls and guys who make your living by opening your intimate parts to the highest bidder. If you cannot get it on your own through hard work, honest effort and legitimate means, maybe that Porsche just wasn’t meant for you and MAYBE people would not look at you like a. . . WHORE if you got off your knees, back, etc. — and got a job that didn’t involve excessive sucking, unhealthy amounts of licking, and definitely unhealthy amounts of sweat rolling off the backs and brows of people who use you for their sick little fantasies and toss you away like the prophylactic devices one can only hope you insisted on using for your tryst(s).

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Blakk Frogg works hard for all his ill-gotten goods. Oops. He meant to say, “Stuff.” Honestly. Ask his agent at the Brothel Catering (exclusively) to Wealthy Women w/ Big Boobs, Thin Waists and Neatly Trimmed Beavers.

Look it up. . . It’s a real place.  😛