Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Over his numerous years in ‘the business’, Blakk Frogg has noticed that people, mostly men have an unusual obsession with the term ‘camel toe’ and will go to great lengths trying to find examples of it, pictures of it, stories about it, and real-life encounters with it whenever possible.

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A few years ago he posted an image which cleared up the question of, “Is there a difference between camel toe and moose knuckle?”

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Well now people have come forward and asked Blakk Frogg, “What happens when a man goes too long w/o getting any Camel Toe?”

Previously doctors and scientisists agreed that a condition known as ‘blue balls’ set in and the man endured agonizing pain in his scrotum.  Now, however, thanks to the diligent research of Blakk Frogg, the world has a NEW answer: Men, as a in general, tend to take things quite literally at times so when the pain of ‘blue balls’ sets in, and sets in good, we go after the first thing we see that makes us think about the thing we want… and we go after it with everything we’ve got!

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Yet another mystery solved by the infamous Blakk Frogg…. you can thank him later at Happy Hour.  Oh, and before you get pissed at him for possibly poking fun at a member of the US Military, please take a good, long look at the image below:

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Now you tell him… If YOU had to deal with crazy-eyed, weapon-toting motherfuckers like that 24 hours a day for a year at a time and get no camel toe for that entire time, wouldn’t YOUR mind start to wander, too?

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said,

“Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”

Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.

Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.

“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang…..

“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas,
Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”

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Wanna’ know what all the COOL people in your office have been laughing at?  Curious to know why Steve shot coffee out of his nose this morning?  Of course you are!  Read the most popular Blakk Frogg Blog postings & pages for the last 30 days on Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog and rejoin the land of the amused!

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him The teenager would look and find him
staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the
matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not
choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in
classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

“Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.  I was just wondering if
you were my son.”

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Also in the news, a panel of experts in human psychology recently released the results of its 2-year study on the effects of watching sarcastic modern-day cartoons such as ‘Futurama’.Their findings shocked the scientific world and have caused many ripples in society.

Apparently, leaving shows such as ‘Futurama’ on in the background while in the presence of hot girls causes the girls to lose their mind and volunteer for cheaply improvised bonadage sessions. See below for an illustration of how this works:

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Blakk Frogg plans on stopping by Best Buy on his way home from work to get all the seasons of that show on DVD and Home Depot for about 20 feet of clothesline… so ladies, feel free to drop by Frogg’s Place at your convenience.

You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

Recent events in life have caused Blakk Frogg to wonder if fate will ever hold out anything good for him… or if it will perpetually serve him a heaping helping of nonsense:

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Where Blakk Frogg comes from, they affectionately refer to that very same ‘nonsense’….. as a shit sandwich.

The old priest lay dying in the hospital.  For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital in Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse

“I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die,” whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response.  Soon the word arrived; the Clinton’s would be delighted to visit the Priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President.  After all, I’m IN IT TO WIN IT.”

Bill agreed–it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the old priest took Bill’s hand in his right hand and Hillary’s hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.

Finally Bill Clinton spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

“Amen” said Bill.

“Amen” said Hillary.

The old priest continued … “He died between two lying thieves.  I would like to do the same.”

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A Husband Store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.

— Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

— Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. — Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.

— Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.

— Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? — Kelvin, age 8

– And the #1 Favorite is –

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. — Ricky, age 10

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The very popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments site operated by that ugly bastard named Blakk Frogg released a list of the Top Ten Most Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments for November 2007 this morning.

Yeah, that lazy bastard of a Frogg took two weeks to put the list together…. Deal with it!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

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Click here for Sarcastic Myspace Comments 6 through 10