Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him “Father.”

The second Catholic woman chirps, “Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace.'”

The third Catholic woman says smugly, “Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say ‘Your Eminence.'”

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle “Well…?”

She replies, “My son is a gorgeous, 6’2,” hard bodied, well hung, Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, “My God…”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for many years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning, post-fart, she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, as she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the bits of the turkey which are not used – the neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, you know “The Giblets” – and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts etc into the back of them.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said, “You were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.”

“What do you mean?” asked his wife.

“Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened …… but by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.”

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

Dave walks into a bar and sees Henry sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says, “Henry, what are you so happy for?”

“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat, and a redhead came up to me… tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here!

She says, ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’ I said ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave, I turned off the key and I said ‘It’s either screw or swim!’

She couldn’t swim, Dave. She couldn’t swim!”

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees Henry sitting at the end of the bar counter with an even bigger smile on his face.

Dave says, “What are you happy about today Henry?”

“Well Dave… I gotta tell ya… Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me, tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here!

She said ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’

I told her ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’ So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, ‘It’s either screw or swim!’

She couldn’t swim, Dave! She couldn’t swim!

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees Henry down there cryin’ over a beer. Dave says, “Henry, what are you so sad for?”

“Well Dave, I gotta tell ya…. Yesterday I was out waxin’ my boat, just waxin’ my boat, and the most desirable, georgeous brunette came up to me…tits WAY out to here, Dave. Tits WAY out to here. I tell ya I had more wood than my boat does!

She says, ‘Can I have a ride in your boat?’ So I said, ‘Sure you can have a ride in my boat.’

So I took her way out, Dave, way WAAAYYY out…much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said ‘It’s either screw or swim!’

She pulled down her pants and…. She had a dick, Dave! She had this great BIG fuckin’ dick!……. And I can’t swim Dave! I can’t swim, man!!!!!!

Americas Best MySpace Toilet Comments

Superman is flying around one day and he’s feeling kinda horny. So he finds Batman sitting on top of a building and drops down to ask him where the best place to get laid is.

Batman proceeds to tell him that Wonder Woman is a great lay.

Superman then tells him that he couldn’t do that to her because they have been friends for too long and he flies away.

Superman then sees Spider-man swinging around and flies next to him while he’s swinging and asks him who the best piece of ass is.

Spider-man tells him that he hears Wonder Woman is good and tells him to look her up.

Disgruntled, Superman takes to the air and flies about. He then notices Wonder Woman lying in a field naked and spread Eagle. He thinks I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of that so fast she’ll never know what hit her.

So, he flies down does his business and in 4 seconds he’s back in the air flying away.

Wonder Woman looks up and says “What was that?”

Invisible Man says: “I don’t know but my ass hurts like hell!”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian from New York were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.

The Italian from New York fumed, ‘Yo! What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’

The Indian Doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’

The Chinese businessman called out ‘Move it, time is money’!!!

The Catholic Priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him.’

‘Excuse me, Sir! Said the Catholic Priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? The y’re rather slow, aren’t they?’

The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. The y lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’

The Indian Doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my Ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’

The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters Union in honor of these brave souls’!!

The Italian from New York said, ‘Why can’t they fucking play at night?’

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.

“Who do you want to play?” Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.

“I’ve always been a big fan of Chopin,” said Bruce. “I’ll play him.”

“And you, Sylvester?” asked Spielberg.

“Mozart’s the one for me!” said Sly.

“And what about you?” Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I’ll be Bach,” said Arnie.

Terminator Can’t Afford Gas Prices, Either

Welcome to a Sex On Saturday Story! Prepare for a naughty tale of drinking and sexual inuendos that will make your loins shake, your ears rattle and your mother’s bloomers wrinkle. First off, though, we want everyone to GET LOOSE!

Funny, Sexy and Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, please get ready to take a vote because we need to know who in the room is in favor of drinking heavily this weekend.

Drinking Comments for MySpace

Now fellas, make sure that BEFORE you put your beer goggles on that you select the perfect woman…

Sexy Drinking Woman Comments

… ‘cuz if you screw up and pick the wrong woman later, well, you might wind up with a gun in your face when you try to put the moves on her.

Firearms and Nice Looking Women

Now that you’ve successfully completed the selection process, we can now move on to the hair pulling part of the weekend. Make sure you do it doggystyle.

Pull My Hair Doggystyle, Please! Harder! 

And guys, please don’t make the mistake of not giving her what she needs. Get down on your knees and…

Suck the Pussy. Suck the Pussy

Then, for your final act of animalistic love-making, lie her out on her back and shoot your paste all over her face!

Shoot Your Paste All Over Her Face

Thank you for tuning in for today’s dirty little alcoholic sex story. Join us again next time so we can defile what’s left of your puny little mind all over again.

Time again, folks, to show you what the rest of the world has enjoyed on this site over the past thirty days on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog. Why does Blakk Frogg do this? Simple: He has no life, his cat hates him, no one ever sends him Christmas cards, and because a rabid monkey has a gun pointed at his testicles at this very moment.

Enjoy!

• Popular Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual Adult MySpace Comments?
• Potato Prostitute
• Spin the Bottle
• Best Redneck MySpace Comment
• Sweet Devon Jersey Pics
• Carolina Panther Cheerleader has a NICE Ass
• Quick and Dirty Jokes
• Sweet Devon: Black Bra and Panties
• I Believe in Sexy Saturdays

From the looks of things, it seems that a lot of you really enjoy viewing and posting Adult MySpace Comments. Bunch of perverts and freaks you all are — And Blakk Frogg loves ya’ for it!

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Free Adult MySpace Comments

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.

“I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane…”

Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said that she’s fucking goofy!”

Americas Best MySpace Break Ups Comments

Over the past few years Blakk Frogg has received lots and lots of interesting emails containing mock ‘Motivational Posters‘ and so finally, he put them all on a web site for your viewing pleasure. See MySpace Sarcasm for the complete listing!

Not sure what defines a ‘Motivational Poster’? No worries. The (less than) Honorable Blakk Frogg will help you with that little problem by showing a few examples of these mock ‘Motivational Posters’… right here, right now.

Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments

So, so wrong of anyone to create a poster like that, but damn that’s funny. For the record, Blakk Frogg does NOT condone statutory rape or the fact that young girls dress up like little prostitutes these days.

Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments

See what happens when little girls dress up like prostitutes? They get knocked up and give birth to seriously retarded children.

Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments

Then, once the retarded children grow up, they beat their spouses and celebrate by doing shots of cheap liquor with their friends… and the bitch they just beat up.

Want more of the Motivational Posters? We think you know what to do.