Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Have you heard about the two duck hunters from Wisconsin? It’s reportedly a true story heard on a Wisconsin radio station about some morons for whom common sense clearly isn’t common…

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00). He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin. It’s mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR.

They decide they want to make a natural looking open water area for the ducks to focus on, something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite a passing duck, is going to take a little more power than the average drill auger can produce.

So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse. Now our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator), decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG..???

Let’s talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as it hits the ice.

The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his master, keeps coming.

One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, and then continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, UNDER the New Navigator.

The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog’s rear end; he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck and takes off after his master.

Then    “” “” “” “” BOOOOOOOOOOOOM “” “” “” “” “”

The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there with “I can’t believe this just happened” looks on their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED by the policy. And he still had yet to make the first of those $560.00 a month payments. The dog is okay . . . doing fine.

And you thought Rednecks only lived in the South……..

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Blakk Frogg finds some people waaaaay too vain for their own good. Read this joke and find out what happens when vanity turns around and bites this guy in the ass!

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission, he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. With lust in his eyes and love (for himself!) in his heart, he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The Redneck simply replied, “They’re lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Look ’em over and pick the one you want.”

The man dated the first daughter.

The next day the Redneck asked for the man’s opinion.

“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice… pigeon-toed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.

“Well,” the man replied, “she’s just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell.. cross-eyed.”

The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect. She’s the one I want to marry.”

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

“Well,” explained the Redneck, “She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell… pregnant when you met her.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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What’s that? Can’t afford a new high chair for the little one? No problem! A trip to the hardware store with a mere $2.49 in loose change will solve your problems for at least a little while….

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Hope all going well in your world!

– blakk frogg

12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine

11. It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass All Day

10. If the Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me

9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim ‘s Gettin’ Better

7. I Wouldn’t Take Her to a Dog Fight ‘Cuz I’m Afraid She’d Win

6. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight

5. I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You’re Still Here

4. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now

3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him

2. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

And the Number 1 Country Song is:

1. I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed with a Ugly Woman, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With a Few

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. “A less costly alternative,” said the doctor, “is to go home, get a cherry bomb,” (fireworks are legal in Alabama) “light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.”

“Trust me,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

“1”

“2”

“3”

“4”

“5”

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, and West Virginia.

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Wanna’ know what all the COOL people in your office have been laughing at?  Curious to know why Steve shot coffee out of his nose this morning?  Of course you are!  Read the most popular Blakk Frogg Blog postings & pages for the last 30 days on Da’ Blakk Frogg Blog and rejoin the land of the amused!

Due to the climate of political correctness

now prevailing in America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans, North Carolinians, Virginians

and West Virginians

will no longer be referred to as

HILLBILLIES.

You must now refer to us as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

Blakk Frogg has finally found the ULTIMATE REDNECK MYSPACE COMMENT and you can get the (free) code for it…… HERE.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Poke around that site for more than 1,400 other great funny, sarcastic, sexy, slutty and sometimes just plain stupid Myspace Comments. Keep in mind, though, that Blakk Frogg has a warped sense of humor, so you never know what he’ll add next!

And that’s a very good thing, damn it! 😛

Blakk Frogg moved to the South a little more than three years ago and loves the weather down here. Additionally, he has met some rather unique and interesting people who may actually OWN and or DO some of the things you’ll see below:

redneck palm pilot	redneck wedding reception	redneck weather station
redneck cat	redneck lottery winner	redneck lawnmower
redneck horseshoes	redneck harley	redneck gingerbread house
redneck guest bedrooms	redneck grill	redneck bass boat

Find more Redneck Pics for MySpace here.

This happened about a month ago just outside a little town in the low country of West Virginia, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it’s real.

A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a really dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghost-like in the rain.

It slowly crept toward him and stopped. Wanting a ride really bad, the guy jumped in the car and closed the door, only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel. The car slowly started moving and the guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running.

The guy saw that the car was slowly approaching a sharp curve, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would go off the road and into the marsh and he would surely drown, when just before the curve, a hand appeared through the driver’s window and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.

Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran to town. Wet and in shock, he went into a cafe and, voice quivering, ordered a cup of hot coffee, black, then told everybody about his experience. A silence enveloped the cafe and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the guy was telling the truth and was not just some weirdo.

About half an hour later two guys walked into the cafe and one says to the other: “Look Bubba, there’s that idiot who rode in our car when we were pushing it in the rain.

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Get yo’self a heapin’ por’shun o’ funny ass redneck myspace comments, ya’ hear?