It never ceases to amaze Blakk Frogg that people so willingly put their personal business all over the Internet in messages… and not really knowing who or if the messages can get intercepted by others intentionally or accidentally.
In this case a woman wanted to ‘thank a recent lover’ for a truly outstanding sexual encounter and tell him that he more or less had an open invitation to come back and mount her again any time he wanted. Too bad she posted the message on her wall and not in a private message or email.
On second thought, it’s AWESOME that she screwed up by announcing to the world that she screwed him!
The tradition of the Birthday Boy of Girl making a wish while blowing out the candles has always bothered Blakk Frogg… because while the person blew out the candles he found himself making a wish at the same time.
Blakk Frogg wished (and hoped) the person didn’t tuberculosis or some other health-related issue communicable through saliva.
“What piece of cake would you like?” asked the Birthday Boy/Girl. “One with the least amount of spittle on it, please,” replied Blakk Frogg.
Getting to the point of this posting, though, when making a wish over birthday candles like the wife in the picture below, be careful what you wish for!
Pop Quiz: Who remembers the Wishmaster series of movies?
Never did Blakk Frogg ever think he’d find himself saying, “Hmmm… The site of my house burning down sure does make me want some popcorn right about now. Oh wait! I can eat the fire alarm! How convenient!”
And with that thought Blakk Frogg has now confirmed that he apparently does does not fit the description of a redneck. At least not according to THIS picture:
Ever go to a sporting event, concert or just anywhere outdoors and think, “Man oh man do I wish I had something to keep the sun out of my eyes…” and totally forget that you have a HAT on your head?
If so, then you and this moron below have something in common: You’re both doing your part to ruin the gene pool!
With so many people listing to iPods or other devices that make use of headphones it comes as no surprise to Blakk Frogg that a few people need reminders about things they ought not do while enjoying music (or the soundtrack from their favorite porno) through their headphones.
Lesson #1 – Stop screaming, you jackass! You may not have the ability to hear anything, including yourself, over the music but we can hear you just fine!
Lesson #2 – Stop singing along, you moron! You cannot POSSIBLY hear yourself singing when you have the volume cranked up to 100 while using headphones but we surely can!
Lesson #3 – Turn the damn volume down, you deaf bastard! Listening to music that loud destroys your hearing and means next time you’ll need to turn it up even louder! Oh, and by the way: Nobody but YOU enjoys that crap you listen to!
Lesson #4 – Headphones may stop you from hearing your own farts but the rest of us CAN hear them, ya’ no class gas bag!
Few things in this world can silence Blakk Frogg but every once in a while he gazes upon a sight that takes his breath away and makes him question the very reasoning why he has not already blown his brains out.
These two circus freaks drove Blakk Frogg to that point.
Well, of all the places for a fecal accident to take place, the poor fellow who crapped himself at Walmart, bought new pants, changed in the restroom, and discarded his shitty pants in the trash can… could have had a worse day by crapping himself during a tour of an art museum.
On second thought, if he crapped himself and hung the poop-stained drawers on the wall he could call it ‘modern art’ and possibly even sell his masterpiece for a ridiculous amount of money to an unsuspecting collector who adored the fact that he got to meet the artist standing half naked in front of the artwork. “Oh how marvelous! Such conviction!”
Most guys know the following saying: “Shake it more then twice and you’re playing with it!”
Well, apparently not ALL guys live by that saying… and some of the more disgusting ones flaunt their non-belief in public. Gross!
A long, long time ago music that sounded ‘really cool’ and ‘trippy’ came from weirdos that knew how to use advanced electronic devices that had a million buttons, half a million dials, some odd-shaped knobs, and a whooooooole lot of keys. We called those devices ‘synthesizers’ and they looked a bit like the following:
THOSE musicians didn’t HAVE no stinkin’ preset beats, purchased drum tracks, commercially available voice overs, etc. They had to actually know what the hell they were doing and make it all up from scratch!
For all those nasty, stinky, smelly, foul, wretched, level 5 hazmat emergency diaper loads of shit & piss you blessed you parents with as a baby… your parents will return to you when they get older and develop advanced alzheimers.
