The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby where he met President Bush. They shook hands, and as they walked the Iranian said, “You know, I Have just one question about what I have seen in America.”
President Bush said, “Well, anything I can do to [...]

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting [...]

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: “Oh, that feels good.”
His hand moves to her breast.
She: “Gee, honey, that feels wonderful.”
His hand moves to her leg.
She: “Oh, honey, don’t stop.”
But he stops.
She: “Why did you stop?”
He: “I found the remote.”
Now do you really think Blakk Frogg has finished with this [...]

One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry’s house to play cards with some friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry’s wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry’s wife had her legs open and no panties [...]

“Late again,” the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. “It ain’t my fault,” Miss Crabtree. “You can blame this on my Daddy. The reason I’m three hours late is Daddy sleeps naked!”
Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. So she asked little Sammy what he meant by that, despite her mounting fears. [...]

Three guys — a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total” says the Genie.
The Canadian says, “I am a farmer, my dad was [...]

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — Particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed [...]

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat, and put his big black Labrador retriever in the middle seat between them.
The first man looked very puzzled at the dog and asked why it was allowed on the plane.
The second [...]

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me [...]

You can always find it
You can be Satisfied even if it is soft
You can enjoy it with no risk while driving
You can take your time and have it slowly, slowly
You can have it and enjoy it even in front of your mom
If you bite the nuts too hard, the chocolate won’t mind
Two people from the [...]