Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

04 May, 2008

What is Juan Smuggling?

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” answered Juan.

The guard says, “We’ll just see about that get off the bike.” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, apologizes for the inconvenience, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, “What have you got?”

“Sand,” says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

“Hey, Buddy,” says the guard. “I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about….. I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?”

Juan sips his beer and says, “Bicycles.”


Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men can turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

  1. Argued over nothing.
  2. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
  3. Gained weight.
  4. Talked excessively without making sense.
  5. Became overly emotional.
  6. Couldn’t drive.
  7. Failed to think rationally
  8. Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.


Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

02 May, 2008

A Few Things to Ponder

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

1. DON’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR…..

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

Next ‘Things to Ponder’ Page

Blakk Frogg does not often delve into politics so it doesn’t matter what party you belong to – this is funny:

Allegedly from a show on Canadian TV, a black comedian said he misses Bill Clinton during his stand-up comedy routine. . .

Yep, that’s right – I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.

  • Number 1 – He played the sax.
  • Number 2 – He smoked weed.
  • Number 3 – He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him… his wife works, and he don’t! And, he gets a check from the government every month.

Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “ClintonSoup,” in honor of one of the nations’ most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one.”

The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do the Hanky Panky between the Bushes.


Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow accidentally goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”

She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221.”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A woman walks up to an elderly looking man sitting in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long, happy life?”

“I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise,” he replied.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” she said, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

sarcastic myspace comments
Funny/Sarcastic Pictures… And Your Mommy!

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. What’s wrong, Bill?” she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

Oh, Bill, you didn’t” she exclaimed.

“Yes, I did.” he replied.

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?”

“Oh… She got fired too.”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Thanks to ALL your help, Blakk Frogg’s friends advanced to Round 2 of the 96.1 Big Beat Bridal Competition!  They are now one of 25 couples battling it out for the wedding they really, really want. . . but cannot afford!

Blakk Frogg asks each and every one of you reading this to seal the deal for his friends so they can have the wedding they truly deserve by going back to vote in this final, crucial round. . . or to vote for them for the first time if you didn’t get around to voting before. (Instructions: click here, and VOTE for Couple #18. Any questions?)

Gary and Angie

“WHY does Blakk Frogg believe this couple deserves a kick ass wedding,” you ask. . .

  • The times when Blakk Frogg ran out of funds for beer, sushi and just generally enough money to ‘hang out’ like a human being, Gary and Angie swang through, brought beer, took him out for sushi, and did their best to make him feel better about life — at least for the moment.
  • The times when Blakk Frogg found himself lost and adrift in a sea of self-pity and self-hatred Gary & Angie helped him to sit back, think about things in a new, more rational direction, and stop blaming himself for everything.
  • Endless nights of passion in the back of. . . Oops.  Wrong couple.
  • Moving on. . . . Gary and Angie have stood by my side, or at least close enough by Blakk Frogg through a lot of really tough, miserable broke times and although Blakk Frogg has returned the favor time and time again, he really wants to see his friends enjoy an awesome wedding.

So it should come as no surprise, at this point, that Blakk Frogg asks you to click here, and VOTE for Couple #18.

Just a few minutes out of your day will make two of Blakk Frogg’s friends very, very happy.

“I need more (better) reasons, damn it!”

OK, well how about these:

  • If they win the wedding contest, they promise to move to The Beach and never call Blakk Frogg again.
  • If they win, Blakk Frogg will have the ability to get really shitfaced at the wedding w/o feeling guilty because they paid for it.
  • Their winning will prove to Blakk Frogg that he has the best damn reader-base on the planet!

If you need more reasons than all that Blakk Frogg has listed, well, you probably skipped a dose of your meds this morning and should double up next time around.

Earth Shattering Conclusion:

Click here, and VOTE for Couple #18 !  Or we beat the hamsters a second time!

Gary and Angie
Besides. . . a Psycho and an Angel DESERVE each other! 😉

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.

The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”

The husband, rejected, turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

“Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect


Americas Best MySpace Break Ups Comments


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]