Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

OK, well Blakk Frogg cannot understand some things, and this whole dirty feet fetish thing really confuses him. He recently posted some Kira Eggers and Jacklyn Lick photos on his Girls for MySpace project and yes, these gorls have got some dirty feet!

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Things look relatively OK so far, but just watch as the camera zooms in closer… and the dark stains on their feet get more and more noticeable.

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Girl on the left looks like she may have stepped in some form of photoset goo or something…. and finally:

Celebrity Glamour Girls
Hot Girls For MySpace!

Oh yeah. The pair of grungy feet on the left takes the cake. Gross.

Having worked with industry material for more than 10 years now, Blakk Frogg knows full well that some people like the whole foot fetish thing but today he poses the question of Why do people like DIRTY feet?

 – blakk frogg

1. A friend stops to see you since your phone has been busy—–for a year!!!!!

2. You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

3. You see something funny and scream, “LOL, LOL.”

4. You tell everyone, that after surgery, your mom went to ICQ ……instead of ICU!

5. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes.

6. You placed the refrigerator beside your computer…or put it in the bathroom.

7. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have ICQ in your car.

8. Tech support calls YOU for help.

9. You beg your friends to get an account so you can “hang out.”

10. You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza.

11. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

12. You say “he he he he” or “heh heh heh” instead of laughing.

13. You say “SCROLL UP” when someone asks what it was you said.

14. You find out divorce papers had been served on you 6 months ago.

15. You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

16. You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

17. You start to experience “withdrawal” after not being online for awhile.

18. You say…….”Where did the time go??”

19. You sit on ICQ for 6 hours for that certain special person to sign on.

20. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

21. You end your sentences with…..three or more periods…….

22. You need to be pried from your computer by the jaws-of-life.

23. Your answering machine/voice mail sounds a little like this…. “BRB. Leave your S/N and I’ll TTYL…ASAP”.

24. You enter a room and get greeted by 25 people with {{{hugs}}} and ****kisses*****.

25. Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

26. You’re on the phone and say “BRB”.

27. Your teacher or boss recommends a drug test for the blood-shot eyes.

28. You get up at 2:00 AM to go to the bathroom and turn the computer on instead.

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Blakk Frogg has entered an Internt Addiction Recovery Group….. so he can meet all those cyber-hot spammer chicks on MySpace!

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”.

They boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God!!?” Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD!?”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing – and they think WE did it!”

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Yep. Twisted stuff like this on Simply Frogg Jokes Pages is like…. water being wet.

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down, and his fly wide open. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”

This is not a phrase men normally use, so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”

He zipped up and finished his shopping, and remembering what the cashier had told him, finally understood. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was that told him about his “barracks door.”

He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open did you see a tall, proud soldier standing in there at attention?”

The lady thought for a moment and said, “No, no I didn’t. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags.”

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Patriotic MySpace Comments make you a real man/woman!

One Monday morning, Roy, the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.

“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the UPS man comments.

Bob, in obvious pain, replies “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.”

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, “How do you play WHO AM I?”

“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our ‘privates’ showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The UPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responded. “Your name came up seven times.”

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Get your jollies at Sarcastic MySpace.

1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.

2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.

3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom, I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.”

4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something??

5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.

6. Drunk texting is alright… if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.

7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they’ve ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.

8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that “I would still love me too!”

9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.

10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.

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11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed… never angry.

12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.

13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.

14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.

15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s phone to do your dialing.

16. Drunk dialing to a foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But, if you really feel like if you don’t call this person you’ll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend’s phone.

17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffin… be prepared.

18. When dialing remember that “hanging out” at 3 in the a.m. usually doesn’t involve cards it’s probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk… “you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?”

19. Don’t drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when your far too drunk to be using electronics and you won’t be able to drunk dial anymore that night.

20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend’s parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes.

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Blakk Frogg loves drunk dialing and MySpace Alcohol Comments.

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, “I bet you can’t tell me something to make me happy and sad at the same time.”

The wife thought for a few moments, then said, “Your pecker is bigger than your brother’s …”

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Simply Frogg loves you long time.

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhoea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.”

Replied the widow, “Yes, I know that he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the really big shit that he really was.”

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Get more great jokes and funny shit at Simply Frogg… and don’t forget to wash behind your ears!

A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.

The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you’d like to know.

What’s the definition of a perfect woman?

a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.

b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.

c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

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