Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 92 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing, on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:

No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling really “spicy” so I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me!”

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fools!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing at Everglades City, a town in Florida, with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh, AND Please pack my new blue silk pajamas.”

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good wife, she does exactly what her husband asked.

sarcastic myspace comments…. get some!

The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish?

He says, “Yes! Lot’s of Trout, some Red Fish, and a few Snook… But, honey, why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked?”

The wife replies “Oh, dear but I did pack them. They were in your tackle box.”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

For years people have asked Blakk Frogg for any easy-to-understand tutorial explaining the primary and most imporatant difference between men and women. Finally, after years of careful research and numerous failed attmepts, Blakk Frogg has, indeed, come up with an easy-to-understand guide explaining the differences between men and women…..

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

For those still confused, well, there’s no hope for you. Kill yourselves immediately.

In an effort to combat a recent swing in public opinion that fast food makes people fat, lowers their sex drive, and cause penis shrinkage, several new advertisements have popped up in popular magazines. These ads show how fast food can actually HELP with a person’s sex drive and get them laid. See below for an example of just such an ad:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

FAKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin’, “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.
REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.
REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don’t waste shit.”

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

Quite often as a child Blakk Frogg got scolded for using poor table manners. He has since refined his eating skills and actually refrains from shoving his face directly ito the pasta bowl — unlike these ladies:

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Where can you find a photograph like this one? Travel to Munich, Germany and have dinner or lunch at a specific restaurant located next to the old Munich Airport.

Despite Charlie Brown’s yearly proclamation to Linus that the Great Pumpkin does not exist, Blakk Frogg has found shocking evidence that TWO Great Pumpkins exist, and not just one:

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Now who besides Blakk Frogg can’t wait to see the proof of Spring Cherry Blossoms? 😛

“When life hands you lemons, stuff them in the mufflers of law enforcement vehicles. Doing so will improve your social life immensely. We promise.”

On another note, people keep bugging Blakk Frogg to post a list of the most popular items from his Blakk Frogg Joke Blog instead of looking through all the entries and deciding for themself what they like. Laziness. Pure laziness.

Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments (Sept 2007)
Sweet Devon Jersey Pics
Shitty MySpace Comments
Fiance’s Sister Wants to Have Sex With Me
Definition of Perfect Woman
Funny Dear Abby Letter
Wife Says, “Can’t You Just Hold Me?”
Girls for MySpace (September 2007)
Pharmacology Names for Viagra

You know what? The Simply Frogg Jokes Page has nearly 700 jokes on it right now…. and it would give you the perfect excuse not to do any real work right now.

OK, Blakk Frogg admits that he did not post a joke here, but damn it, man, this story taken from www.theregister.co.uk made him laugh real hard. A guy gets disqualified from a race down an inflatable doll race down a river because he “boinked” his raft along the way. Quality entertainment all the way around! Read for yourself:

“A participant in the annual Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament near St Petersburg was disqualified in shame for ‘”sexual abuse of apparatus’, Mosnews reports.”

“The event – held on the Vuoksa river and sponsored by ‘a number of Russian sex shops’ – this year attracted 400 athletes determined to tackle the choppy 1,200 metre course with nothing more than an inflatable partner for buoyancy, as our pic shows.”

“As organiser, Dmitriy Bulaviniv told Zizn’ newspaper: ‘It’s fun and difficult to swim in stormy river with an exotic apparatus, as inflatable ladies slip out of hands.'”

“Yes they do. According to Mosnews’s entertaining commentary, as ‘strong wind and flow snatched out resilient dolls from strong men’s hands’, only 40-year-old Igor Osipov was left to make the final climactic dash to the finish line. At this point, however, ‘the jury then noticed Osipov’s strange position and told him to moor. When he came out of the water, gazers saw signs of recent sexual activity on the swimmer’s doll.'”

“The mind boggles. The judges then ‘found the swimmer guilty of sexual abuse of the apparatus and disqualified him’ because, as the organisers explained: ‘Air sex dolls can be used only for swimming.'”

——————–

Some folks may consider the idea of racing down a freezing cold rivcer with an inflatable sex doll in tow a poor representation of humanity….. but Blakk Frogg has decided to sponsor a team next year if he wins the lottery.

Many of you havee asked for the Most Popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments for October 2007, so here you will find them. Happy now?

most popular sarcastic myspace comments: october 2007

most popular sarcastic myspace comments: october 2007

most popular sarcastic myspace comments: october 2007

most popular sarcastic myspace comments: october 2007

most popular sarcastic myspace comments: october 2007

• Sarcastic MySpace Comments 1 thru 5
• Sarcastic MySpace Comments 6 thru 10
• Sarcastic MySpace Comments 11 thru 15

Previously: Popular Girls for MySpace