Most of us have had the unfortunate pleasure of going into work with a hangover. Life gets pretty amusing for the span of time that you spend at work after downing a few too many brewskis, taking too many shots, and mixing too many different liquors the night before; especially if you get MAYBE, at BEST, two or three hours of sleep.
So, without further ado, “You know you’re in bad shape at work when…“
- The phone looks “too heavy to lift†when it rings.
- You groan every time you go to reach for the mouse.
- The thought of going to lunch sounds too much like work.
- Fax machines remind you of horror film sound effects.
- The clock snickers at you.
- Co-workers refuse to enter the bathroom after you for fear of what you may leave in there.
- Mt. Dew tastes like an elixir of the gods.
- You empty the water cooler by yourself…. And still can’t pee.
- Every time you exhale, a key on your keyboard melts.
- The mouthpiece on your phone gets disinfected by the vapors in your breath.
- Fluorescent lighting above you starts to sizzle your skin.
- The computer monitor in front of you looks and acts like a spotlight.
- You begin to sweat acetone from your eyelids.
- The idea of pooping your pants at your desk does not sound all that bad anymore.
- It feels like someone lit your eyeballs on fire with a road flare.
- Although the thought of alcohol offends you, Happy Hour still sounds like fun after work.
- You cannot, for the life of you, figure out what is so Happy about Happy Hour anymore.
- The hamster in your thought wheel is playing with a jackhammer.
- Elevator music offends you… a lot more than usual.
Thank you for reading an honest to goodness Blakk Frogg original. Now somebody PLEASE get Blakk Frogg a beer!
Like a lot of folks in this country, Blakk Frogg has a job: He gets up each morning, goes to work, puts in at LEAST solid 8 hours of work. Every other week he gets a check. Simple as that.
He then pays taxes on his earnings and the government distributes his tax dollars as it sees fit.
Here’s the kicker, though… In order to get that paycheck, he has to pass a random urine test, with which he has no problem.
He DOES, however, object to the distribution of his hard-earned tax dollars to people who DON’T have to pass a urine test. He wonders WHY a person doesn’t have to pass a urine test in order to receive HIS money in the form of a welfare check. Seriously… HE has to pass one in order to EARN that money so shouldn’t THEY have to pass one before receiving it?
Please understand that Blakk Frogg has no problem with helping people get back on their feet. He does, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sit around on their lazy ass using drugs… on his dime.
Think about how much money state, local and federal government agencies would save if aid recipients had to pass regular, or random, urine tests before they could receive a public assistance check.
Democrat, Republican, Conservative or Liberal, it does not matter. If you agree with this message, spread the word. Otherwise your silence equals acceptance of the current situation… and you have no right to complain.
– Blakk Frogg
Have you ever had such a horrible day/week/month/year/life that even a shit sandwich seemed appealing? Well have you ever SEEN a shit sandwich? Huh? Have you?????
Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments
Well now you have. Don’t say Blakk Frogg never did you any favors. Still hungry?
– blakk frogg
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Come and get your Sarcastic MySpace Comments while they’re still hot and steaming…. like a fresh shit sandwich!
Every once in a while Blakk Frogg comes across a graphic that expresses the way he feels so well that it almost makes him cry…. Almost, he says. Almost.
Below you will see an example of one of those graphics:
Americas Best MySpace Patriotic Comments
What does it mean? Even if you don’t support the Wars, the men and women fighting in them DESERVE your support….. ALL OF IT!
– blakk frogg
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Get your Patriotic MySpace Comments and wave your flags high and proud this weekend and EVERY weekend!
They found a use for the steel that came from the Twin Towers…..
Americas Best MySpace Patriotic Comments
They apparently took the steel and created the above ship, an extremely high-tech anti-terrorist activity vessel. Actions like this make Blakk Frogg glad to be an American.
For all of you that find yourselves broke as hell with the desire to get your groove on, Blakk Frogg came up with the perfect Cheap Date package. Simply find a willing partner and break out the following….
(2) Tall Boys of Malt Liquor Beverage to start the party
(3) Lubricated & Ribbed Condoms to keep the party safe
(4) ‘Loosie’ Menthol Cigarettes for breaks in the action
(1) Key to an Hourly Rates Motel room for privacy
How will you know when you’ve found the perfect partner for the night’s events? Easy! Look around the room for anyone wearing a shirt like this:
For those who want a shirt like that so that everyone knows your intents for the evening…. all you have to do is…. click this damn link!
-blakk frogg
P.S. ——> If you STILL can’t get a fun-filled cheap date even with this very helpful and informative advice, it’s probably because your breath smells like stale, moldy, shredded onions dipped in curdled milk. 😛
Please join us in this FLY THE FLAG campaign and PLEASE forward this message immediately to every warm-blooded American Citizen you can think of. We have three weeks to get the word out all across this great land and into every community in the United States of America.
THE PROGRAM IS THIS:
On Tuesday, September 11th, 2007, an American flag should be displayed outside every home, apartment, office, and store in the United States. Every individual should make it their duty to display an American flag on this anniversary of our country’s worst tragedy. We do this in honor of those who lost their lives on 9/11, their families, friends and loved ones who continue to endure the pain, and those who today are fighting at home and abroad to preserve our cherished freedoms.
In the days, weeks and months following 9/11, our country was bathed in American flags as citizens mourned the incredible losses and stood shoulder-to-shoulder against terrorism. Sadly, those flags have all but disappeared. Our patriotism pulled us through some tough times a n d it shouldn’t take another attack to galvanize us in solidarity. Our American flag is the fabric of our country and together we can prevail over terrorism of all kinds.
Action Plan: So, here’s what we need you to do…
(1) Forward this message to everyone you know (at least 11 people). Take a moment to think back to how you felt on 9/11 and let those sentiments guide you.
(2) Fly an American flag of any size on 9/11. Honestly, Americans should fly the flag year-round, but if you don’t, then at least make it a priority on this day.
Thank you for your participation.
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Get your Patriotic MySpace Comments and show your pride in the Good ‘Ole US of A!
Blakk Frogg warns you to watch your step because the sarcasm, jokes and kick ass MySpace Comment Pictures pile up quickly around here… and you certainly wouldn’t want to track any of THAT stuff into your life by mistake.
Also, try to watch out for those pesky Girls for MySpace ‘cuz they’ll distract you from your normal routine and make you forget your wife’s name…. if you have a wife, that is.
Tracking fun stuff like Blakk Frogg enjoys back into your life on purpose, however, comes highly recommended from the man, er, Frogg, himself.
