Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Blakk Frogg Speaks’ Category

Motorcycle enthusiasts like Blakk Frogg suggest that people take excellent care of their machines in order to make sure they operate properly and perform flawlessly on (or off) the road.

Some folks take those suggestions a bit too far…


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Note: For those not exactly familiar with proper motorcycle care, laying a bike down in that manner causes oil to creep up onto the heads… which is NOT good for the bike. And that, dear friends, concludes our mechanics lesson for today.

Sorry, folks, but this postings contains a random rant by Blakk Frogg, not a joke…..  Deal with it!

Many years ago people tried their hardest to get Blakk Frogg to drink Guinness Beer. They told him how good it tasted, how it went well with this food, that food, by itself, etc. Needless to say Blakk Frogg couldn’t STAND the taste of the stuff.

Now, however, he would KILL for a chance to sit at one of his favorite pubs/taverns back home with giant platter of steamed clams (w/ hot sauce!) in front of him and a cold, freshly poured Guinness beer at the ready. Times change, right?


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Now granted the above cartoon does illustrate a good point, but hey…. the beer tastes good and the clams w/ hot sauce alongside it taste even better!

Guinness on Tap + Good Clams + Blakk Frogg = Good Times Guaranteed!

For years people have asked Blakk Frogg for any easy-to-understand tutorial explaining the primary and most imporatant difference between men and women. Finally, after years of careful research and numerous failed attmepts, Blakk Frogg has, indeed, come up with an easy-to-understand guide explaining the differences between men and women…..


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

For those still confused, well, there’s no hope for you. Kill yourselves immediately.

27 Nov, 2007

B-B-B-Bondage?

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Babes|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Sex

Some people shy away from things that have to do with bondage…. but your ass clicked the link. Guess that might make you…. a pervert? Right?


click picture to enlarge

more water bondage comments

Nah, not really. The majority of people that Blakk Frogg has met in his years on this planet have their fetishes, have their ‘secret desires’, want something sexually they have not yet had, etc. He feels the sooner people realize that they have animal desires and learn to work with them and have FUN with them, the less likely those desires will creep up in their life at an inconvenient date and fuck up their life.


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Now this does NOT mean Blakk Frogg condones reckelss sexual behavior. Nope. Not at all. It does mean that he believes a ton of people need to loosen up and stop trying to suppress the sexual natures and behaviors of others.


click picture to enlarge

more water bondage comments

As long as they keep their blinds closed, don’t make too much noise w/ the whips during their roleplay games, don’t fling used condoms out the windows, keep up the outward appearance of ‘normality’ when necessary or deemed appropriate by society, …… and everyone involved in their fun and games legally consented to the ‘fun’, well, Blakk Frogg says, “Party on, perverts! Just keep the goo factor to a minimum, OK?”


click picture to enlarge

more water bondage comments

In an effort to combat a recent swing in public opinion that fast food makes people fat, lowers their sex drive, and cause penis shrinkage, several new advertisements have popped up in popular magazines. These ads show how fast food can actually HELP with a person’s sex drive and get them laid. See below for an example of just such an ad:


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

You don’t have to like football or even know who the Carolina Panthers are to enjoy the following photo:


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Just….. DAMN! That girl’s hind end stands up and speaks for itself!

Now rest assured that Blakk Frogg will catch Hell from some folks due to the sexist nature of this post…..

“Oh, sorry. Were you talking to Blakk Frogg? That ass had a Frogg mesmerized again. Please forgive the drooling as well.”

Quite often as a child Blakk Frogg got scolded for using poor table manners. He has since refined his eating skills and actually refrains from shoving his face directly ito the pasta bowl — unlike these ladies:


Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Where can you find a photograph like this one? Travel to Munich, Germany and have dinner or lunch at a specific restaurant located next to the old Munich Airport.

Despite Charlie Brown’s yearly proclamation to Linus that the Great Pumpkin does not exist, Blakk Frogg has found shocking evidence that TWO Great Pumpkins exist, and not just one:


Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Now who besides Blakk Frogg can’t wait to see the proof of Spring Cherry Blossoms? 😛

“When life hands you lemons, stuff them in the mufflers of law enforcement vehicles. Doing so will improve your social life immensely. We promise.”

On another note, people keep bugging Blakk Frogg to post a list of the most popular items from his Blakk Frogg Joke Blog instead of looking through all the entries and deciding for themself what they like. Laziness. Pure laziness.

Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments (Sept 2007)
Sweet Devon Jersey Pics
Shitty MySpace Comments
Fiance’s Sister Wants to Have Sex With Me
Definition of Perfect Woman
Funny Dear Abby Letter
Wife Says, “Can’t You Just Hold Me?”
Girls for MySpace (September 2007)
Pharmacology Names for Viagra

You know what? The Simply Frogg Jokes Page has nearly 700 jokes on it right now…. and it would give you the perfect excuse not to do any real work right now.

OK, Blakk Frogg admits that he did not post a joke here, but damn it, man, this story taken from www.theregister.co.uk made him laugh real hard. A guy gets disqualified from a race down an inflatable doll race down a river because he “boinked” his raft along the way. Quality entertainment all the way around! Read for yourself:

“A participant in the annual Sex Dolls Rafting Tournament near St Petersburg was disqualified in shame for ‘”sexual abuse of apparatus’, Mosnews reports.”

inflatable doll race

“The event – held on the Vuoksa river and sponsored by ‘a number of Russian sex shops’ – this year attracted 400 athletes determined to tackle the choppy 1,200 metre course with nothing more than an inflatable partner for buoyancy, as our pic shows.”

“As organiser, Dmitriy Bulaviniv told Zizn’ newspaper: ‘It’s fun and difficult to swim in stormy river with an exotic apparatus, as inflatable ladies slip out of hands.'”

“Yes they do. According to Mosnews’s entertaining commentary, as ‘strong wind and flow snatched out resilient dolls from strong men’s hands’, only 40-year-old Igor Osipov was left to make the final climactic dash to the finish line. At this point, however, ‘the jury then noticed Osipov’s strange position and told him to moor. When he came out of the water, gazers saw signs of recent sexual activity on the swimmer’s doll.'”

“The mind boggles. The judges then ‘found the swimmer guilty of sexual abuse of the apparatus and disqualified him’ because, as the organisers explained: ‘Air sex dolls can be used only for swimming.'”

——————–

Some folks may consider the idea of racing down a freezing cold rivcer with an inflatable sex doll in tow a poor representation of humanity….. but Blakk Frogg has decided to sponsor a team next year if he wins the lottery.


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About This Site


First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]