Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Romance comes in many different flavors, but at no time should it EVER come from a book vendor whose ass crack resembles cottage cheese getting smuggled in a lambskin condom!

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Listen, folks…. If you want romance, you gotta’ go someplace other than a street corner where some fat, nasty, overweight ‘thing’ sells used romance books. And while on the topic, doesn’t the phrase ‘used romance books’ bring some pretty sickening images to mind?

Try your luck over at Girls for MySpace if you need something to float your boat, get your motor going, rev up your engines, etc.

– blakk frogg

Read below, figure out how YOU would handle a dangerous driving situation of this magnitude, and then scroll down to see if you made the right driving decision.

Dangerous Driving Scenario:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Scroll for the correct answer…

Americas Best MySpace Vehicles Comments

Correct Course of Action:

Get your drunk ass off the children’s Merry-Go-Round. You’re fuckin’ hammered!

And no, Mrs. Clause didn’t catch Santa getting a little action on the side.

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

Instead, it is something far more sinister: Some idiots in Australia have decided to change Santa Clause’s jolly, happy, trademarked, patented, world-famous “ho-ho-ho!” to….. “ha-ha-ha!” (insert the classic ‘WTF’ here)

Apparently they think the average woman takes offense to the term ‘ho’ and that children ought not get exposed to such harsh, condescending language….. especially from Santa Clause, a symbol of all that we supposedly deem innocent an pure.

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

Uh, hello? If a woman takes offense to that word used in a COMPLETE other way, then she probably wound UP waiting in line with her 3 screaming brats to see Santa as a RESULT of behaving like a ‘ho’…. and she needs to shut up, keep her legs closed, and stop drawing attention to herself.

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

Reality of the matter: Most kids who believe in Santa Clause and hear the time-honored ‘ho-ho-ho’ do not make the connection between the sluts they see everywhere else in life and the innocence of St. Nick. Also, if those kids DO make that connection, someone needs to reset the password on Net Nanny and/or the cable box in their parents’ home.

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

It already sucks enough that we can no longer enjoy a Holiday Season w/o having to worry about offending people by saying, “Merry Christmas”. Do we REALLY have to censor Santa now, too?

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

– Blakk Frogg

Halloween has come and gone and everyone has started looking forward to feasting on turkey, ham, fruit cakes and other traditional Thanksgiving/Christmas foods. Parents have started acquiring, wrapping and stashing presents for their kids, television stations have begun flooding the airwaves with images of Holiday Cheer that makes lonely bastards like Blakk Frogg wanna’ kill himself, and greedy retail merchants chomp at the bit as they wait for the hordes of gadget and gizmo loving shoppers to empty their pockets into money-hungry cash registers.

Americas Best MySpace Holidays Comments

Everyone loves this time of year, right? No, actually, some folks HATE this time of year as it marks the beginning of the end for them…. And yes, Blakk Frogg refers to the poor, now-forgotten and probably tossed into the garbage pumpkins.

With not much time to live, many turn to drugs and alcohol to soothe the pain of knowing they will soon die….

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

So the next time you see a forlorn pumpkin rolling down the street at this time of year, take a minute to mourn because that poor, poor pumpkin will soon rot into the ground and become…. worm food.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”

“Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

No longer just the title of an awesome Motley Crue song from back in the 1980’s, folks! It also represents the content of one of Blakk Frogg’s recent additions to Americas Best MySpace Comments. Check out a few samples of what got added, OK?

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

And just to make life a bit more interesting, Blakk Frogg posted a blatantly sexist comment picture for MySpace certain to piss off….. your mom!

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Yeah….. you really gotta’ admire Blakk Frogg’s ability to run the gamut when it comes to offensive material. Tune in next time when he posts pictures of your mom making sweet love to the garbage man’s boot!

To My Dear Wife,

“You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset – I shall be home before midnight.”

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

To My Dear Husband,

“I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you tha t you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow”.

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Every once in a while at the office you will hear something out of context that will make you stop, turn around, and say, “Wait. What the HELL did you just say?”

This morning Blakk Frogg overheard something that made him say those very words.

A female co-worker said, and Blakk Frogg quotes directly, “Not gonna’ eat it, just shove it in there. Then tie up the legs….”

Some of you fine, upstanding citizens will know she referred to preparing a turkey, but the rest of you perverts and deviants thought the same thing as Blakk Frogg…. and that’s alright.

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Looking for more sarcasm, humor and wit from the fingertips of Blakk Frogg? Da’ Americas Best Sarcasm/Humor Site can help you make better brownies…. or at least keep you from slitting your wrist before dinner.

A scam is being pulled, mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.

They are very good at this: They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday.

I wasn’t able to find them on Sunday.

Lightspeed Girls For MySpace! Tori Stone!