Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A blonde’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.

Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in the history of this highway occurs.

It’s not very long before a police car shows up.

The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, “What the hell is going on here?”

“My car broke down,” says the lady, calmly.

“Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!” asks the cop…

And she said….

(This is good…)

(Ready?)

(Remember, she’s a blonde…)

“Those are my emergency flashers!” she replied.

Flash Me! I’m Bored!

Will people ever stop making fun of blondes? Probably not…

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said she was told it had to be at least 8 characters.

PS: If you’re blonde and don’t get it, just move on and don’t give it another thought…

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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his Order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of Headlights and a pair of running boards.”

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear Stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook,

“This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a Pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What Does he think this place is — an auto parts store?”

“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three Pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side Up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.”

“Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a Moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it To the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the Flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!

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Once again we find ourselves poised and ready to take aim at blondes. Why? Because the Simply Frogg Crew received more blonde jokes in our email this morning! Sheesh. Must we explain everything to you?!?!?

• Blonde Joke Index
• First Blonde Joke
• Second Blonde Joke
• Third Blonde Joke
• Fourth Blonde Joke
• Fifth Blonde Joke
• Sixth Blonde Joke
• Seventh Blonde Joke

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Oh, and just to keep things interesting, we’ll add a blonde girl’s picture to each page… in case some of you forgot what they look like! 😛

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Colorado rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?” So then the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, “This is the one… right here.”

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, “Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?”

“That’s simple. By the nail over its stall,” Amy explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, “What’s the nail for?”

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”

Blakk Frogg says, “Height should not be the only requirement for some things in life.”

= = = = = = = = =

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

Thank God for heros.

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The Champaign, Illinois Police Department, famous for its superior K9 unit, was somewhat taken back by this recent incident.

Returning home from work, a blond was shocked to find her house has been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps put her face in her hands and moaned, ‘I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!’

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, “What a great chest you have.”

He tells her, “That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.”

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, “What massive calves you have.”

The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.”

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.

He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, “I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was”

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Prior to her trip to Texas, Brittany (a Blonde New Yorker), confided to her co-workers she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State:

1. She wanted to taste some real Texas Bar-B-Que.

2. She wanted to take in a bona fide rodeo.

And…

3. She wanted to have sex with a real cowboy.

Upon her return, the girls were curious as to how she fared.

“Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite , it’s ooooh so good. The taste is unbelievable!”

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“And I went to a real rodeo.Talk about athletes…those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop,then jump off the horses and grab the bull by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!”

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They then asked, “Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?”

“Are you kidding? When I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!”

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