Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A husband & wife went to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the Breeding Bull exhibit.

They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.”

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “See, he mated 50 times last year … Once-a-week.”

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 120 times last year.”

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, “That’s more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.”

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, “This bull mated 365 times last year.”

The wife said, that’s once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one.”

The husband looked at her and said, “Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow.”

NOTE: The husband’s condition has been upgraded from critical to stable.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments
free jokes, comments and graphics

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news,

Posted the following headline:

NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas … The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life.

So, be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll live longer.

Proud Americans everywhere love the smell of breakfast in the morning. Actually, we love breakfast just about ANY time of the day or night. Hence the popularity of Denny’s and Waffle House… but that’s not the point. Blakk Frogg wants to celebrate the upcoming US holiday (Memorial Day) with some Patriotic MySpace Comments from the AmericasBestComments.Com project. Enjoy!

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com><img src=http://americasbestcomments.com/graphics/patriotic/comments7/pics_patriotic-34.jpg title="Free Patriotic MySpace Comments" border=0><br /><strong>Patriotic MySpace Comments — Get Some!</strong></a>

Everyone has the right to show their love of America, yes, but for the love of eyesight PLEASE put some clothes on, woman! * barf *

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com><img src=http://americasbestcomments.com/graphics/patriotic/comments5/pics_patriotic-24.jpg title="Free Patriotic MySpace Comments" border=0><br /><strong>Patriotic MySpace Comments — Get Some!</strong></a>

place your cursor over text box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a href=http://www.americasbestcomments.com><img src=http://americasbestcomments.com/graphics/patriotic/comments1/pics_patriotic-1.jpg title="Free Patriotic MySpace Comments" border=0><br /><strong>Patriotic MySpace Comments — Get Some!</strong></a>

Blakk Frogg thanks you for dropping in this morning, or afternoon, or evening, or night… and invites you all to breakfast at Denny’s — but you have to pay for your own meal.

A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked puzzled, and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.

He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”

The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, “‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it duuhhh?”

The man answered, “‘S-H-I-T’ means “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

You can now ‘safely’ ask a woman if she likes the taste of big nuts…

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_big-nuts-candy.jpg" width="400" height="100" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

NOTE: Blakk Frogg accepts no responsibility for what happens to the dumbasses who approach a woman thinking they can ACTUALLY ask a girl if she mindsthe taste of Big Nuts.

There exists a faction of fellas who adore the big girls. They say things like, “More cushion for the pushin'” and “There’s just more to love.” OK. Fine. We get that point… but at what point does the girl become too big even for THOSE guys, huh?

Where do they draw the line?

<a href="http://www.Americas-Best.com/myspace-comments-blog/" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://www.americasbestmyspace.com/myspace-comments/pics_big-girl-in-bed.jpg" width="350" height="442" border="1" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments"><br /><strong>Visit Americas-Best.Com for…</strong></a><br /><em>Funny/Sexy/Sarcastic/Stupid MySpace Comments</em>

Just… Wow. Does anyone besides Blakk Frogg feel like throwing up all over their keyboard right now ‘cuz if not, you may already have had a heart attack from shock and died.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc… want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic… “Try doing it with the engine running.”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

As a token of our esteem, and to let you know how much you matter to us, we’d like to offer the following love-making tip you ladies can give to your partner bfore you begin bumping uglies, doing the nasty, playing hide the salami…. er, we meant to say ‘making love’:

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

This has been a public service announcement from Simply Frogg and Americas Best MySpace Comments

Blakk Frogg has a question: If you go through the drive-thru of a McDonald’s that blatantly advertises on its signs and in its windows ‘Buy One Get One Free Egg McMuffins’, do you order two of them to receive the ‘special promotion’ or ought they automatically double your order if you order only one?

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Seriously… The sign said ‘Buy One Get One Free’, not ‘Buy One and Get the Second One for Free if You Check Your Order, See You Only Received One Sandwich, Back Up in the Drive Thru Line, and Ask Us for the Second Sandwich’.

Two redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

“There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”