Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A biker walks into a convenience at about 2:30 in the morning. He walks up to the cashier and asks “Where are your tampons?”

The clerk tells him, “Right down on aisle three, on the end to the left.”

The biker disappears down the aisle and finally, about 45 minutes later, he returns carrying toilet paper and cotton balls.

The cashier starts to ring him up and says, “You know, I know it’s none of my business, but I thought you were here for tampons.”

The biker tells her, “Well, last week I sent my ol’ lady out for smokes and she comes back with zig zags and tobacco. By God she can roll her own, too!”

Guess What Happened Next?

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18 Nov, 2009

Classic Dear Abby Letter

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Humor|Sarcastic

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Council Bluffs who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Des Moines and one of my sisters, who lives in Ames, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Iowa City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Bettendorf for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Davenport. She is still a part time ‘working girl’.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Cornhusker fan?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

==========================

Dear Worried,

Can I have your sisters’ phone number?

Signed,

Abby’s Husband


Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

“Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver,” Would you please take your seat so we can leave?”

“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a Cardinal, and I’d really like to drive Today.”

“I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! And what if something should happen?” protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning.

“Who’s going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you,” says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 Mph. (Remember, he’s German.)

“Please slow down, Your Holiness!” pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, dear God, I’m gonna lose my license — and my job!” moans the Driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

“I need to talk to the Chief,” he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo Going a hundred and five.

“So bust him,” says the Chief.

“I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really big,” said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!”

“No, I mean really important,” said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, “Who ya got there, the Mayor?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

Chief: “The Governor?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

Chief: “The President?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

“Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?”

Cop: “I think it’s God!”

The Chief is stumped, “You been drinking, John?”

Cop: “No Sir.”

Chief: “Then what makes you think it’s God?”

Cop: “He’s got the Pope as a chauffeur….”


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A teacher asks her class, “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little TONY.

He replies, “None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies, “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”

Then little TONY says, “I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, “Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

To which Little TONY replied, “The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on,” but I like your thinking.”


Americas Best MySpace Foods Comments

17 Nov, 2009

Wife Needs to Bury Husband

Posted by: admin In: Funny Jokes|Humor|Jokes|Sarcastic

A woman and her grouchy old husband went on vacation to Jerusalem.

While they were there, the husband passed away.

The undertaker told the wife, “You can have him shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land , for $150.”

The woman thought about it and told him she would just have him shipped home.

The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your husband home, when it would be wonderful for him to be buried here, and you would spend only $150?”

The woman replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead…. I just can’t take that chance.”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Everyone needs a little motivation and last month YOU sick little monkeys looked at these mock motivational posters more than any others… so we hope you enjoy the most popular mock motivational posters for October 2009!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

You can find more mock motivational posters over at a funny little site called MySpace Sarcasm.

17 Nov, 2009

Do We Eat Anything Other Than Bacon?

Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Humor|Sarcastic

Such a stupid question, but still, since Amanda from St. Louis, MO took the time to ask we will humor her by replying.

“Yes, we eat things other than bacon. Despite how utterly awesome the idea sounds, mankind canNOT survive on bacon alone. Therefore we also eat items from the other important food groups: Meat, more meat, and more meat on top of that with a side dish of meat.”

For those curious about an example of a meat dish we absolutely LOVE even though it lacks bacon (nothing’s perfect), check out this killer Bison Steak we order at Four Moons Restaurant in Orangeburg, SC.

Tender Bison Steak at Four Moons Restaurant in Orangeburg, SC
Tender Bison Steak at Four Moons Restaurant

We hope this answers your question, Amanda. Now make yourself useful and go make us a double bacon sandwich, ya’ nosey little parasite!

Americas Best MySpace Comments Blog -- Free MySpace Comments

Everyone needs a little motivation and last month YOU sick little monkeys looked at these mock motivational posters more than any others… so we hope you enjoy the most popular mock motivational posters for October 2009!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

MySpace Sarcasm: Mock Motivational Posters
cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!

You can find more mock motivational posters over at a funny little site called MySpace Sarcasm.

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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]