Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Some people have advocated for prayter in the workplace and some have argued against it. Truthfully speaking, only one reality exists in the workplace when it comes to prayer and lucky for you, we have figured it out for you:

Sarastic MySpace Comments

Blakk Frogg received these two pics recently and thought to himself, “Self? Yes, Self. You ought to post those two pictures together. Great idea, Self!”

Sarcastic MySpace Free Picture Comments

Yep. Dogs can’t always find a sex partner and so legs become their next best option!

Sarcastic MySpace Free Picture Comments

For those unable to figure out WHY these two images went so well together, Blakk Frogg suggests you re-locate your head from between your nasty, unwashed, full of flies, buttcheeks and come up for air!

A recent study by the University of Pissed Off Women has come up with a list of ways in which women can self-diagnose their own PMS:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving – call 1-800-***-****.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments Kick Butt!

6. Everyone’s head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7. You’re convinced there’s a God and he’s male.

8. You’re counting down the days until menopause.

9. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10. The Motrin bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

= = = = = = =

Want another PMS Joke?

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, “What are you thinking?” An older woman doesn’t care what you think.

An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of herbal tea.

An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments
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Older women can run faster because they’re always wearing sensible shoes.

There’s no need to be phobic about “committing” to an older woman – the last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent man.

Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you’re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her.

Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can’t help you when you need to start replacing your old fillings.

An older woman will never accuse you of “using her.” She’s using you!

Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.

An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she’s with you, in case you get any ideas…

Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.

Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don’t wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.

Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

An older woman will agree to go to McDonald’s with you for a meal.

Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later.

Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.

An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that!

The teenager tells her ‘Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rose buds show!’ and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes down stairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming overand that it is just not appropriate….

The grandmother says, ‘Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rose buds, then I can display my hanging baskets.’

Sarcastic MySpace Comments… for free!

One day a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…

Satan: “Why so glum?”

Guy: “What do you think? I’m in Hell!”

Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?”

Guy: “Sure, I love to drink.”

Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink ’til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”

Guy: “Gee that sounds great!”

Satan: “You a smoker?”

Guy: “You better believe it!”

Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer – no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?”

Guy: “Wow…that’s awesome!”

Satan: “I bet you like to gamble.”

Guy: “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

Satan: “Good, ’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”

Guy: “Cool!”

Satan: “What about Drugs?”

Guy: “Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”

Satan: “That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”

Guy: “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”

Satan: “You gay?”

Guy: “No…”

Satan: “Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough…”

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

Every once in a while a stand-up comedian hits the nail right on the head with a political statement. The following political statement came from Chris Rock.

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon”

Recent Americas Best MySpace Postings
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Age 6 — I’ve learned that if you spread the peas out on your plate, it looks like you ate more.

Age 7 — I’ve learned that you can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

Age 7 — I’ve learned that if you laugh and drink soda pop at the same time, it will come out your nose.

Age 10 — I’ve learned that you should never jump out of a second story window using a sheet for a parachute.

Age 13 — I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up.

Age 16 — I’ve learned that when my parents are in a bad mood, it’s best to agree to everything they say or things get nasty.

Age 27 — I’ve learned that I should never praise my mother’s cooking when I’m eating something fixed by my wife.

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Age 30 — I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.

Age 31 — I’ve learned that nothing really bad happens when you tear those little “do not remove” tags from pillows.

Age 42 — I’ve learned that marrying for money is the hardest way of getting it.

Age 52 — I’ve learned that if you like garlic salt and Tabasco sauce you can make almost anything taste good.

Age 53 — I’ve learned that after age 50 you get the furniture disease. That’s when your chest falls into your drawers.

Americas Best MySpace Animated Comments

This married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, “You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.”

So the married couple walked in.

The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals I think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The Pakistani man replied, “Just try them on.”

Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn’t seen in many years— raw sexual power.

In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on a table and started tearing at the guy’s pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming,

“YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET!”.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Everyone knows we love bacon and that we judge all things solely on their bacon content. OK, so not all things, but it almost sounded believable for a minute, right?

At any rate, when you go out for lunch and order a sandwich with bacon in it, you expect to get real bacon, not some lame excuse for bacon. Limp, greasy strips of mystery ‘meat’ need not apply!

So it should come as no surprise that we frequent a hot little lunch spot called Four Moons Internet Cafe in Orangeburg, SC because it has the best looking and tasting bacon of ANY lunch spot in the area. They use good quality Applewood Bacon and cook it just right so that you get a perfect crispiness-to-meatiness ratio when you bite into your sandwich.

Need proof? We thought you would, so we asked the proprietor to snap us a picture of the bacon they use before it goes on a sandwich. Check it out!

Great Lookin’ Applewood Bacon at Four Moons Internet Cafe

Damn… Judging by the amount of drooling going on right now, it seems as though lunch plans just got made for tomorrow! Hope to see ya’ there!

Advice for Other Lunch Shops:

• See the bacon above? If you bacon doesn’t like as good or better, then your sandwiches will suck moose crap!

• No deli should even consider calling itself ‘Gourmet’ unless they take as much care and concern for the quality of the bacon they top a sandwich with as they do all the other ingredients. No one cares about a sandwich made w/ fresh bread or a fancy mustard spread if the bacon sucks, ya’ dig?

• A lot more people judge a deli by its bacon than you think. Know why? Because delis charge extra for it and 99.9% of people inthis world pay close attention to the things they have to pay extra for. Think about it!

• Go have lunch at Four Moons Internet Cafe, enjoy your meal, and while you’re there… try learn a thing or two about the proper usage of bacon on a sandwich, will ya’?