Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Question: What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a tupperware party?

Answer: They’re both out looking for a tight seal.

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

During the month of March 2010 your good friend Blakk Frogg had a lot of ups and downs. When he had beer and bacon, he felt great. When he ran out of either, or both, he felt like his bacon-loving had all gotten crushed by a fat woman’s bulbous rear end.

Although completely unrelated, he now gives you the most popular pages from Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog — whether you like it or not.

• Potato Prostitute?
• Sarcastic Motivational Posters
• 21 Things to Wonder About
• Jokes Making Fun of Men
• Seven Types of Sex
• Quick and Dirty Jokes
• Sexual Adult MySpace Comments?
• Sarcastic/Funny Motivational Posters
• Spin the Bottle
• Dear Abby Bass Fishing Letter

Stop staring at your sister’s droopy butt and pay attention! Below you will find the most popular pics on MySpaceSarcasm.Com at a time when gerbils mated and accidentally created moose dung. Now go get us some beer, you lazy freaks!

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/4/pics_motivational-20-to-life.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/6/pics_motivational-domestic-violence.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/2/pics_motivation-jiu-jitsu.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-animated-comments/17/pics_animated-stormtrooper-doing-her-from-behind.gif" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!
<a href="http://myspacesarcasm.com" style="text-decoration: none;"><img src="http://myspacesarcasm.com/myspace-motivational-comments/5/pics_motivational-bling-hairy-whales.jpg" border="1" alt="MySpace Sarcasm"><br /><strong>Visit MySpace Sarcasm if…</strong></a><br /><em>you like peanut butter between your toes</em>

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There was an old man who always rode his bike to his brother’s house every weekend. It took him 2 hours and he alway’s made it by there by 2PM.

One day he tried to make it in 1 hour. Collapsing on a hill from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and asks him if he needs a ride. The man looks at his watch and sees he would be late if not, but there is already a passenger, so he asks how?

“No problem,” says the man in the corvette, “I’ve got a rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride.”

The man says, “Ok!”

They take off and the driver yells back, “Just yell BEEP BEEP if I’m going to fast.”

No problem the man thinks.

They come to an Intersection and a Ferrari pulls up.

The old man’s eyes widen in fright.

Sure enough, the light changes and THEY’RE OFF! Both cars racing like two bats fresh out of Hell….

Anyway, the old guy made it to his brothers on time and the Vette lost.

Meanwhile, at the local police dept… “Hey guys the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari and a ‘Vette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street.”

“What’s so weird about that?” asks the other cops.

The first cop says, “There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming BEEP BEEP and trying to pass!”

Americas Best MySpace Vehicles Comments

Just when you thought life could not get any better, some fool goes and invents an alarm clock that begins to slowly cook a slice of bacon 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. Simply place a frozen strip of bacon in the clock, set the alarm, and pass out.

Bacon awaits you in the morning, Master!

Wake Up to a Strip of Fresh Cooked Bacon

Imagine, if you will, waking up to the glorious smell of bacon each and every morning — without the expense of a live-in chef OR the aggravation of an annoying significant other who gets up earlier than you do!

Never mind the obvious fire hazard created when ya’ put a heating unit inside a wooden pig. Think, instead, about all the great mornings your half-asleep self will clumsily jam your grubby fingers inside a hot tray and burn the dog snot out of yourself.

As you reel your fingers back in pain, try not to drop your salty, meaty bacon prize on your (most likely unswept and un-vacuumed) floor — ‘cuz then you will have a mere ten seconds to pick it up and eat it w/o fear of germs.

10 second rule, man! The ten second rule!

A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender looks down and says, “You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants.”

The pirate replies “Ay, and it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, “Oh My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?”

The second old lady replied, “Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!”

Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, “…Yeah, and cold, too!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Blakk Frogg wonders about a lot of things and today he decided to ask the following questions: “What Makes 100% and what does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?”

We have all had days where some moron from uper management announced in a meeting that he or she ‘needed every single one of us to give over 100%’.

So, then…. How about achieving 103%? Would that satisfy them? Hmmm…. What exactly DOES make up 100% in life and how exactly WOULD a person achieve MORE than that?

Thanks to the power of the Internet, Blakk Frogg discovered a mathematical formula that helps to answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%,

And

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%,

Now for the clincher: Look how far ass kissing will get you:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% !

Using the above computations as a basis for a conclusion, it seems a mathematical certainty that Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there…. it’s all the Bullshit and Ass Kissing a person will have to do that will put them over the top.

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A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled.

The dentist pulled out a freezing needle to numb the area. “No way! No needles! I hate needles!” the patient shouted.

The dentist started to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objected. “I can’t do the gas thing! The thought of having a gas mask on is suffocating to me!”

The dentist then asked if the man had any objection to taking a pill. “No,” the patient said, “I am fine with pills.”

The dentist said, “Here is a Viagra tablet.”

The patient replied: “Wow! I didn’t know Viagra works as a pain pill!”

“It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth.”

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