Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

At a time when most Americans, such as your friend Blakk Frogg, find themselves skimping on ‘luxuries’ in life (i.e. bacon and imported beer) so that they can afford to put gas in their tanks just to get to work, the oil companies teeter on the brink of posting, yet again, RECORD profits.

Will someone PLEASE explain to a hard working American WHY the government has NOT made the connection between continually rising gas prices and astronomical oil company profits?

Oh, and before Blakk Frogg finishes this little rant he wants to ask another important question: Have the oil companies re-invested money in to their infrastructure in preparation for the next time a disaster — man made (terrorist) or natural — slams the Gulf Coast?

It would speak VOLUMES of the oil companies’ commitment to keeping the life blood of this Nation flowing if we could, for once, go to the pump and see the prices go DOWN instead of UP every single time a goat farts in the Middle East.

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Leave it to Blakk Frogg to stumble over Harry Baals in the news, right?

Apparently a man had that name in the mid 1900’s and did a good job as Mayor in an Indiana town… but probably won’t get a building named after him in his honor because simple-minded people (like Blakk Frogg) might use the actual pronunciation of the man’s name as the butt of a joke.

FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A former Indiana mayor who won four terms in the 1930s and 1950s is proving less popular with modern-day city leaders, who say they probably won’t name a new government center for him because of the jokes his moniker could inspire.

Harry Baals is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building in Fort Wayne, about 120 miles northeast of Indianapolis. But Deputy Mayor Beth Malloy said that probably won’t be enough to put the name of the city’s longest-tenured mayor on the center.

The issue is pronunciation. The former mayor pronounced his last name “balls.” His descendants have since changed it to “bales.”

Supporters said it’s unfair that the former mayor can’t be recognized simply because his name makes some people snicker. But opponents fear that naming the center after Baals would make Fort Wayne the target of late-night television jokes. ( source )

Having said that, Blakk Frogg has often wondered why people give their children names that will get them made fun of throughout grammar school, picked on in middle school and possible beat up routinely in high school.

Just IMAGINE the torment that Harry Baals went through as a young man… To quote Marlon Brando, “The Horrors… The Horrors…”

Harry Baals did not suffer alone

In his younger years Blakk Frogg had the fortunate pleasure of stumbling across another person with a truly condemning name: Harry Woodcock.

Really? WTF, people? What drugs did the parents take right before answering the question of what they want to name their children? Or, did the parents secretly not want the kids and take out their aggressions by giving them a lifetime of teasing?

We will probably never know, but one thing we know for sure: People with names like Harry Woodcock and Harry Baals have had verrrrry rough lives and have wanted to off their parents from the very first time a kid on the school bus made fun of their name.

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A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

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It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.

‘It sure is,’ I replied.

The boy looked back at the dog, paused for a few moments, and asked, ‘What did he do?’

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While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’

‘And why not, darling?’

‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

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While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said.

‘Glory be unto the Faaaaather, and unto the Sonnnnn, and into the hole he gooooes. Amen.’

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A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.

‘What have you got there, dear?’

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

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A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

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I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

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