19 May, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
Fate of Babar
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Explaining Failure to Kids
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Drunk Paddington
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18 May, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
Mommy Likes Box
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Run Away, Kids!
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Learn to Pimp
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17 May, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
[ Beautiful Beer Cooler ]
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[ Frogg’s Friend Drunk in the Chair ]
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[ Standing High Jump Record About to Get Crushed ]
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16 May, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
[ Man Needs the Right Wife ]
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[ Bouncing Boobs ]
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[ Bass Fishing Hottie ]
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15 May, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
[ Klan White Crayon ]
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[ Mexifornia Driver License ]
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[ Police Help Her Find Missing Marijuana ]
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04 May, 2012
Posted by: admin In: Blakk Frogg Speaks|Humor|Sarcastic
While trolling through some older web pages in Blakk Frogg’s portfolio of fun he came across this older piece that he feels needs to get re-published. Enjoy!
Some rumors ring true. Blakk Frogg has some serious height issues. Some people call him Extra Tall. Others refer to him as a Giant. Everyone calls him an a$$hole.
Below you will see true statements from people regarding Blakk Frogg’s 6’8″ stature and the responses he gave:
– Them: Wow. You must have a hard time finding clothes!
– Blakk Frogg: Not really. With all two stores in the state carrying things in my size, well, it’s quite easy to find old, out-dated crap no one else would wear.
– Them: Where do you find shoes that big?
– Blakk Frogg: I don’t. I sneak up behind an appropriately sized animal and ram my foot up its ass. Shock kills the critter instantly and I then wear the carcass as a shoe until it rots and falls off or the smell gets too unbearable.
– Them (male): Wow. You’re tall. Do you have trouble kissing girls?
– Blakk Frogg: Are you asking if I’m gay? Why the hell would you think tall people are gay? Did you get molested by a man on stilts as a child?
– Them: You MUST play basketball!
– Blakk Frogg: No, actually I’m a jockey at the horse track. You should see the size of my horse!
– Them: Did you breast feed?
– Blakk Frogg: Not this morning, no.
– Them: Were your parents tall?
– Blakk Frogg: At first they were giants but as the years passed they kept appearing shorter and shorter to me…. really weird.
– Them: Were you always this tall?
– Blakk Frogg: Yes, and you should have been there to see the look on my mom’s face and the stretch marks created when she gave birth to me.
– Them: You used to drink a lot of milk, I bet.
– Blakk Frogg: Actually, I used to just take whole bites out of them. More protein that way.
– Them: What’s it like to be that tall?
– Blakk Frogg: Same as it is to be your height, except it’s easier to look down girls’ shirts.
– Them (male): At your height you must get to look down a lot of blouses, eh?
– Blakk Frogg: Yeah, and at your height you must get to look up a lot of skirts/dresses, eh?
– Them: How’s the weather up there?
– Blakk Frogg: I’m sorry. Could you repeat that? I was busy talking with God just now… and He’s PISSED that you interrupted!
– Them (female): I dated a guy your height one time.
– Blakk Frogg: Only one time? I guess he didn’t like you much, either.
Just got this in one of them newfangled ‘E-Mails’ and thought it may reassure the old folks out there that they are not alone in their dislike of ‘too much technology’… and also in their issue with misplacing their false teeth.
= = = = =
Read it all the way through! It’s a good laugh! AND really quite true!!
A good laugh for people in the over 40 and 50 groups!!!
When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot.”
P.S. I know some of you are not over 40 and certainly not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.
Us senior citizens don’t need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle. — from email
= = = = =
Teeth still missing? Blame the cat!
12 Apr, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Adult Humor|Americas Best|Blakk Frogg Speaks|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
TONS of self-help books out there harp on the fact that many among us live in alternate (fake) realities and for that reason have great difficulties interacting with other people. Personally, Blakk Frogg thinks more people need to heed the advice in the image below… ‘cuz he took the advice to heart a long time ago and people LOVE him now. (not!)
Actually, more people loathe and detest Blakk Frogg since he ‘took the first step’… and for some odd reason he does not care. Hmmm….
11 Apr, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Adult Humor|Americas Best|Funny Pictures|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic|Sex
Admit it… You wish YOU knew 20 ways to play with a pussy — that wouldn’t get you arrested! Except in Georgia, Alabama, Kentucky, and parts of Wisconsin.
Yep. 20 ways to make that pussy purr. Are ya’ ready?
Oh, wait… what kind of pussy were YOU thinking about? You PERVERT!
09 Apr, 2012
Posted by: Blakk Frogg In: Adult Humor|Alcohol|Americas Best|Beer|Drinking|Funny Pictures|Gross|Humor|MySpace|MySpace Comments|MySpace Pictures|Sarcastic
So… Do gasoline additives really help make cars drive a bit further on a tank of gas? After some research we have determined that some do, and some don’t.
We all want to know how we can stretch our gasoline budget just a little further, right? Of course we do! With gas prices clearly over the $4 mark in a lot of the country most of us have started doing ANYthing we can to get better gas mileage.
That dumb bastard, however, appeared to have other motives for his use of a ‘gas additive’ and although we didn’t actually log any miles on the test vehicle, we have concluded that man-made, all natural beer-induced fuel additives will not stretch a person’s fuel budget.
