Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Some days pretty much suck, and others REALLY suck. I mean, like, it’s bad enough to get caught stealing food and killed in the process — but to THEN get taken sexually from behind after death?

That’s just…. wrong. Kharma was DEFINITELY not with you on THAT day.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Hopefully this little reminder about how bad things COULD get has brought a smile to your face… or at least a little grimace of disgust.

– blakk frogg

Sometimes politicians, journalists and others exclaim; “It’s just a Tax cut for the rich!” and it is just accepted to be fact. But what does that really mean? Just in case you are not completely clear on this issue, I hope the following will help. Please read it carefully. Let’s put Tax cuts in terms everyone can understand.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our Taxes, it would go something like this:

a.. The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
b.. The fifth would pay $1.
c.. The sixth would pay $3.
d.. The seventh would pay $7.
e.. The eighth would pay $12.
f.. The ninth would pay $18.
g.. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.” Dinner for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our Taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free, but what about the other six men, the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to eat their meal. So, the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

a.. The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
b.. The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
c.. The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
d.. The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings)
e.. The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
f.. The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

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Oh geez… Another blasphemous web page from Blakk Frogg. At any rate, hope you enjoy the following letters written to God from… Dogs:

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle” the “Chrysler Beagle”?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Recently Blakk Frogg had his loyal henchmen at SimplyFrogg.Com add a whole lot of new comments to the Simply Frogg MySpace Comments section. As of last count, that site contained easy-to-use HTML code for nearly 900 free MySpace Comment Pictures.

Recent additions include…

Motorcycle for Sale

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Playground Pimps

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

You Won’t Believe It’s Not Vaginal Discharge

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Yep. Lots and lots of weird, funny, gross, sexy and sarcastic myspace comments to choose from at Simply Frogg!

Blakk Frogg believes all creatures great and small have ways in which they remind themselves of what constitutes ‘appropriate behavior’. See below for a list of self-help hints stolen from a strung out, crack-addicted French Poodle named Henry:

1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying “hello”.

8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house – not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

Americas Best MySpace Animal Comments

Time for the second set of Adult & Sexual Myspace Comments from the Americas-Best.Com MySpace Comments Site. Enjoy!

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

There you have them… Five more of the most popular sexual and adult myspace comments for the month of December on Americas-Best.Com.

Blakk Frogg will post a third set of sexual/adult comments for MySpace shortly, so stay tuned!

Announcement:  Blakk Frogg just created a new Adult MySpace Comments web site featuring ONLY adult myspace comments that he collects from sick people like. . . .you!  😉

Listed below please find the names and symptoms of a few dangerous computer viruses you should watch out for:

THE GEORGE BUSH — Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the mother-board and father-board bought it.

THE AL GORE — Causes your computer to just keep counting.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE CLINTON — Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) — Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE LEWINSKY — Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.

THE RONALD REAGAN — Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE MIKE TYSON — Quits after two bytes.

THE OPRAH WINFREY — Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE JACK KEVORKIAN — Deletes all old files.

THE PROZAC — Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t care.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE JESSE JACKSON — Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.

THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO — Only attacks minor files.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER — Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

THE LORENA BOBBITT — Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

Americas Best MySpace Computers Comments

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he’s a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his penis. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

“Oh look,” says the first nun. “It’s a soap dispenser.”

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Amazed, the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and three times, but nothing happens. Frustrated, she gives several more tugs… then yells… “Holy Mary, Mother of God! It’s a HAND LOTION DISPENSER TOO!”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

Two gay guys take a walk through a zoo.

They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can’t bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by…. When he’s done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, “Are you hurt?”

“AM I HURT?” he shouts, “Wouldn’t you be? He hasn’t called…. He hasn’t written….”

Americas Best MySpace Comments

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the Choose Life license plate holder, the What Would Jesus Do? bumper sticker, the Follow Me to Sunday-School bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.

Americas Best MySpace Comments