Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop.

When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, “If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you.”

The hippie, of course, says that he’d love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord.

“If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder,” says the bus driver, “You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you.”

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she’s in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. “I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first,” he says.

The nun agrees, but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, “Ha ha, I’m the hippie!”

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, “Ha ha, I’m the bus driver!”

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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!”

Free Myspace Comment:
Who Came First? Chicken or the Egg?

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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

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That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”

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A 78-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 78-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s like this – first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked Marie for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked, to say the very least! “You asked your neighbor?”

The old man replied, “Yep. None of us could get the jar open”.

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Sorry folks, but the content from this page moved to a new domain: Americas-Best.Com.

We apologize for any inconvenience, and you may flog our grandmothers if it will make you feel better.

Time for a little Sex on Saturday! Why? If you have to ask, then stop reading now. There’s something wrong with you and you REALLY ought to seek professional help.

Americas Best MySpace Comments…
brought to you by Blakk Frogg

Americas Best MySpace Comments…
brought to you by Blakk Frogg

Americas Best MySpace Comments…
brought to you by Blakk Frogg

Americas Best MySpace Comments…
brought to you by Blakk Frogg

Americas Best MySpace Comments…
brought to you by Blakk Frogg

So there you have it… Sex on Saturdays. With any luck Blakk Frogg will remember to post another installment of this later and do it all over again each weekend… but don’t hold your breath. 😉

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I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am.

I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?”

I didn’t respond… or even know HOW to respond, so after the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

I’m NEVER going back to that doctor ever!

With the economy going downhill so fast, one must consider alternative means of making money to stay afloat, and perhaps just to stay alive.  Since gambling usually doesn’t pay in the end, most states (in the US) frown upon prostitution, and no one likes drug dealers (except drug users). . . there can be only ONE way to make more money:

Simply Frogg, Simply For Fun!

So the next time you see a depressed woman, ask her if her vibrator needs repairing.  Chances are she will say NO and slap the shit out of you, but hey. . .  Find that one in a million girl who’s got a broken dildo at home (or in her purse!) and you’ve got a client!

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting right outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin’s skirt.

“Get your hand out of there!” she shouts. “Don’t you know that women have teeth down there?”

The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn’t get bitten.

For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he’s 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, “You know, you could go a little further if you want.”

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“Well, why don’t you put your hand down there?” she says, pointing to her crotch.

“HELL NO!” he cries, “you’ve got teeth down here!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she responds, “there’s no such thing as teeth down there!”

“Yes there are,” he says, “my Mom told me so.”

“No there aren’t,” she insists. “Here, look for yourself.” With that, she pulls down her pants and gives him a little peek.

“No I’m sorry” he says. “My Mom already told me that ALL women have teeth down there.”

“Oh for crying out loud!” she cries. She whips off her panties, throws her legs behind her head and says, “LOOK, I DON’T have any teeth down there.”

The boy takes a good long look and replies, “Well, after seeing the condition of those gums, I’m not surprised!”

Toothpaste elicits no foul thoughts from most people… until now:

So the next time you go to scrape the filth off your choppers, just remember what your toothpaste is up to while you’re not looking…

Want to see more things that will haunt your dreams? Check out the latest additions to Americas Best MySpace Comments!