Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

As ususal we have waded through about half a billion emails asking us to PLEASE post the most popular postings on Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog. . . and since we FEEL like it, we will do just that. Only THIS time we will break them down into two of the more popular categories: Redneck and MySpace Comments for your convenience.

Redneck. . .

• Best Redneck MySpace Comment
• Redneck Pickup Lines
• Letter From Marine at Bootcamp
• Hillbilly Dumb Wives
• You Might be a Redneck

MySpace Comments. . .

• Popular Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments
• Popular Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments
• More Adult MySpace Comments
• Sexual/Adult MySpace Comments 2

So there you have it, folks. . . more proff that people spend quite a lot of time searching for things like Sarcastic, Redneck and Adult MySpace Comments.

Now have a redneck & dirty day, dang it!

God says to Adam, “I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?”

Adam says, “Tell me the good news first.”

God says, “I’m going to give you a penis and a brain. You’ll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect.”

Adam replies, “Wonderful! But what’s the bad news?”

God says, “I’m only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time.”

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast. He walks in and she says, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment”.

He, thinking it’s his lucky day, makes love to her over the kitchen table.

Afterwards he says, “What was that all about?”

She says, “the egg timer’s broken.”

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade, listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

1) You are bald your whole life

2) You have a hole in your head that leaks

3) Your neighbors are nuts

4) The guy behind you is an asshole, and…

5) Everytime you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?”

The man replies, “No, what do you mean?”

She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Later, the man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, “Did you call for me?” says the hairy man.

“No, what do you mean?” asks the newcomer.

“It’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.” The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. “May I help you?” she asks.

The man yells, “Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.”

“But, Sir,” she replies, “you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.”

The man replies, “Listen lady, I’m 69 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day. I’m outta here!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Though far away and (hopefully) a distant forecast for events in the life of Blakk Frogg, he must face the inevitable — and that inevitable fact deals with the idea that one day he will have to more or less PRAY that someone will touch his private parts. . . besides a licensed medical physician or an attendant at a nursing home.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

So without further ado, let us now enjoy a joke about old people and sex. . .

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, “There really is no justice in the world.”

The other little old lady asked, “What do you mean by that?”

The first little old lady replied, “Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. . .”

“Now that I’ m 80, though, the damned things grow wild on the beach. . . and I’m too old to squat!”

Yep. Some girls truly deserve the name of ‘Gold Digger’ and some guys truly deserve the name of ‘gilolo’. Why? Because they make truly ignorant statements like THIS when they think no one can hear them:

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Seriously speaking all you girls and guys who make your living by opening your intimate parts to the highest bidder. If you cannot get it on your own through hard work, honest effort and legitimate means, maybe that Porsche just wasn’t meant for you and MAYBE people would not look at you like a. . . WHORE if you got off your knees, back, etc. — and got a job that didn’t involve excessive sucking, unhealthy amounts of licking, and definitely unhealthy amounts of sweat rolling off the backs and brows of people who use you for their sick little fantasies and toss you away like the prophylactic devices one can only hope you insisted on using for your tryst(s).

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Blakk Frogg works hard for all his ill-gotten goods. Oops. He meant to say, “Stuff.” Honestly. Ask his agent at the Brothel Catering (exclusively) to Wealthy Women w/ Big Boobs, Thin Waists and Neatly Trimmed Beavers.

Look it up. . . It’s a real place.  😛

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

“Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!!”

Out on the golf course with his wife, the husband says, “Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me.”

His wife was hurt, but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you.”

They embraced and kissed.

On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, and I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation; I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.”

The husband froze at the top of his back swing, and then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers.

He screamed and ranted, “You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul…and all these years you’ve been playing off the ladies tees!”

Some things are sacred.