Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

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One afternoon, a woman and her little daughter went into a large toy store. The mother asked her daughter what toys she wanted.

The little girl said, “I want GI Joe and Barbie.”

The mother smiled and said, “Darling, you know Barbie doesn’t come with GI Joe.”

The little girl looked up at her mom sternly and replied, “Mom, Barbie ALWAYS comes with GI Joe. She just FAKES it with Ken.”


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Two Texans, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.” Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Jim says. “What’s that?”

The dean says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?”

“Yeah.”

“Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.”

“That’s true, I do have a yard.”

“I’m not done,” the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.”

“Yes, I do have a house.”

“And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.”

“Yes, I have a family.”

“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.”

“I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.”

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

“Logic?” Bob says, “What’s that?”

Jim says, “I’ll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?”

“No.”

“Then you’re a queer.”

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.

He said, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”

She said “I love it but I have to stop eating it.”

“Why?” he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said “Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see” he said.

“Okay,” and she pulled up her skirt.

He looked and said, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, too. I’m starting to get feathers down there too!”

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said, “Oh my God! It’s too late for you! You’ve already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!”


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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment, sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a closer look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!!”

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely………A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k!?”

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son’s house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Justin to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“Justin loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours.

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch.

Finally, her husband came home.

He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said……… “What’s for dinner?”

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A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down…

The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”

The mother replies, “Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it.”

“Your wasting your time,” said the boy.

“Why is that?” the mom asked puzzled.

“Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and and blows it right back up.”

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Dear Abby,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime — bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn’t care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you’ve ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she’d get interested. Instead she says she doesn’t want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn’t like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

Thanks,

“Confused Fisherman”

P.S. —> Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught. (see below)

bass fishing hottie named Sam

Dear Confused Fisherman,

Get rid of that narrow-minded hag you married and spend more time fishing with Sam. That’s a gorgeous pair of bass she’s got there!

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!”

So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick…”

The bartender says “Well then, lets see!”

So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.

He looks around at the crowd and says, “Does anyone else want to try?”

An old lady raises her hand and says… “Sure, but don’t hit me with that stick.”


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Some people say marriages get made in heaven. Others, often going through a divorce or separation, say marriages come from another place…. called Hell.

Blakk Frogg says marriages, no matter how deep the love, no matter how true the devotion, ought not to occur…. for a number of reasons…. and he offers the following REAL LIFE marriage announcements as evidence:

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So, for those of you thinking that tying the knot makes sense, and will solve all your woes, do yourselves a favor and examine how your names will look in the paper.

If, after examining your names you still think it’s a good idea to get hitched, and at some point Blakk Frogg winds up posting your announcement on a website…. Guess what? It wasn’t a good idea.

See you fools on Divorce Court.


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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]