Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Archive for the ‘Sex Joke’ Category

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s social status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter prepared for a date, the woman explained the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

Much to the woman’s surprise, the girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her saying, “Oh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! …… I’m dating Susan!”


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa has gone to Heaven?”

Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”

Later that day Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She tried adjusting the knobs to get the picture in focus, but that didn’t work. Then, frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem by force.

About this time the little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door. Upon opening the door he saw the family minister standing before him.

The minister said hello to the little boy and asked, “Is your Grandma home?”

Thinking nothing of it, the little boy replied, “Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.”

The minister fainted.


Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Three Hillbillies are sitting on their porch in Arkansas. One says,
“Boy is my wife dumb. She’s so stupid that she went shopping today and
bought an air-conditioner. Hell, we ain’t got electricity!”

Then the other guy says, “Ah that ain’t nothing, my wife’s dumber than
that! She went shopping yesterday and had a washing machine delivered.”
They all laughed and laughed, why nobody around here has plumbing!

The third Hillbilly said, “Well, I reckon my woman’s got to be the
dumbest. Just this morning I was looking in her purse for some change and
found six condoms. Hell, she ain’t got no pecker.”


Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

Back in grade school Blakk Frogg used to get in trouble all the time for acting like a fool in school… and for rhyming words like turds and birds.

He did not, however, get in trouble for saying things like, “You should have seen the size of the dick walking in the road this morning!


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Some people either have no life or lose drunken bar bets way too often. da’ blakk frogg joke blog takes no reponsibility for other bar patrons’ ridiculous claims after they drink their 7th beer, but it will make fun of them for days on end afterwards. Guaranteed.

Have you seen the newly added sarcastic myspace comments yet? If not, well… YOU SUCK!

On my work to work this morning I got cut off by this dick in a truck…


Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

Yeah… definitely a giant dick in that truck. So, so rude. He’s lucky I didn’t develop road rage and castrate him!

Hope all well out there wherever the hell you live!

blakk frogg

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.


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Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they’re about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.


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Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book to the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name.

Also the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child’s favorite colour, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, “You’re not the boss of me”.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if … he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 92 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing, on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:

No, I didn’t stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling really “spicy” so I just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me!”

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, “April Fools!” And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard!


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

For years people have asked Blakk Frogg for any easy-to-understand tutorial explaining the primary and most imporatant difference between men and women. Finally, after years of careful research and numerous failed attmepts, Blakk Frogg has, indeed, come up with an easy-to-understand guide explaining the differences between men and women…..


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For those still confused, well, there’s no hope for you. Kill yourselves immediately.

In an effort to combat a recent swing in public opinion that fast food makes people fat, lowers their sex drive, and cause penis shrinkage, several new advertisements have popped up in popular magazines. These ads show how fast food can actually HELP with a person’s sex drive and get them laid. See below for an example of just such an ad:


Sarcastic MySpace Comments

You’ll find more nonsense like the above picture on….. Sarcastic MySpace Comments!

“When life hands you lemons, stuff them in the mufflers of law enforcement vehicles. Doing so will improve your social life immensely. We promise.”

On another note, people keep bugging Blakk Frogg to post a list of the most popular items from his Blakk Frogg Joke Blog instead of looking through all the entries and deciding for themself what they like. Laziness. Pure laziness.

Oral Sex, People! Oral Sex!
Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments (Sept 2007)
Sweet Devon Jersey Pics
Shitty MySpace Comments
Fiance’s Sister Wants to Have Sex With Me
Definition of Perfect Woman
Funny Dear Abby Letter
Wife Says, “Can’t You Just Hold Me?”
Girls for MySpace (September 2007)
Pharmacology Names for Viagra

You know what? The Simply Frogg Jokes Page has nearly 700 jokes on it right now…. and it would give you the perfect excuse not to do any real work right now.


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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]