Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

12. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine

11. It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass All Day

10. If the Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me

9. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim ‘s Gettin’ Better

7. I Wouldn’t Take Her to a Dog Fight ‘Cuz I’m Afraid She’d Win

6. I’ll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight

5. I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You’re Still Here

4. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out Of Prison By Now

3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him

2. She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

And the Number 1 Country Song is:

1. I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed with a Ugly Woman, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With a Few

An Austrian roofer who slipped on the job ended up nailing himself to the roof – through his wedding tackle.

According to Ananova, 59-year-old August Voegl of Jennersdorf “shot the four-inch nail into his left testicle with the compressed air nail gun” and was thereafter “unable to extract it or pull himself away from the roof”.

It was left to emergency medics to separate Voegl from the building and, after being whisked to hospital by air ambulance, he’s reportedly “recovering well” following surgery.

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn’t want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. “A less costly alternative,” said the doctor, “is to go home, get a cherry bomb,” (fireworks are legal in Alabama) “light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

The Alabamian said to the doctor, “I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I don’t see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.”

“Trust me,” said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

“1”

“2”

“3”

“4”

“5”

At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, and West Virginia.

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Nothing says family like a nice discussion of boobies and willies at the dinner table. Blakk Frogg believes The following joke proves that:

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

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The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts.

In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.

“Onions?” the son asks.

“Yes, you see them and they make you cry”

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, “Mum, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.”

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Tired of draining valuable natural resources each and every time you plug in that monstrous vibrator? Feeling guilty over all the batteries your dildo destroys when you need a little ‘stress relief’?

Relax! Now you can enjoy a luxury model sex toy w/o killing the environment!

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I know, I know…. Yuck. Deal with it!

– blakk frogg

Some people will go to great lengths in order to secure a little oral action. Like this guy, for example:

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Saddest part of the whole cartoon: she fell for that trick in the past!

Blakk Frogg has yet to see the movie about gay cowboys. He has, however, heard so much about it in the news over the past months that the following email made him shoot beer out of his nose when he read it:

Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After That Damned Gay Cowboy Movie . . . .

1. “I’m gonna pump you fulla lead!”

2. “Give me a stiff one, barkeep!”

3. “Don’t fret—I’ve been in tight spots before.”

4. “Howdy, pardner.”

5. You stay here while I sneak around from behind.”

6. Two words: “Saddle Sore.”

7. “Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeeal slow-like.”

8. “Let’s mount up!”

9. “Nice spread ya got there!”

10. “Ride’em cowboy!”

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Oh, hell, folks… Blakk Frogg decided to post the third installment of Adult & Sexual Myspace Comments from his Americas-Best.Com MySpace Comments Site.

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Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

For a listing of hundreds more funny adult humor pics like these, check out the most recent additions to Americas Best Adult/Sex MySpace Comments… and buy Blakk Frogg a beer at Happy Hour, damn it!

Announcement:  Blakk Frogg just created a new Adult MySpace Comments web site featuring ONLY adult myspace comments that he collects from sick people like. . . .you!  😉

Sarcasm makes the world go around, so check out the most popular Sarcastic MySpace Comments for the month of December 2007!

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Blakk Frogg loves posting stuff like this! Check out these popular Americas Best MySpace Comments for the month of December 2007!

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