Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Someday Blakk Frogg will find himself sitting across the table from his beloved wife, if he ever gets one, and have this exact same conversation. Scary, but true.

An elderly couple was sitting at the kitchen table on the morning of their 50th Wedding Anniversary.

“You know,” she said, “we were probably sitting in the kitchen across from each other 50 years ago.”

“Yeah,” he said, “but we were probably naked.”

“So let’s get naked now,” she suggested.

So they both took off all their clothes and sat across from each other.

“You know,” she said smiling lovingly, “my breasts feel just as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago.”

He replied, “I’m sure they are – one is in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Dear Husband:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.

I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn’t notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.

You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t touch me or anything. Either you’re cheating or you don’t love me anymore, whatever the case is, I’m gone.

P.S. If you’re trying to find me, don’t. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Signed Your Ex-Wife

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

And Now The Husband’s Response

Dear Ex-Wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn’t work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a man!” My mother raised me to not say anything if you can’t say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that’s not a problem.

Signed Rich and Free!

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments

Everyone knows Blakk Frogg likes to drink. Therefore, he proudly presents you with a joke about the creation of a new, yummy mixed drink BOUND to make the ladies squeal!

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks, “Bartender, got any specials today?”

Bartender answers, “Why yes, as a matter of fact we do, a brand new drink invented by a gynecologist patron of ours. It’s a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka.”

The guy asks, “Good grief, what do you call that?”

The bartender replied, “A Pabst Smir.”

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbucks’ one day discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes, the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”

The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”

And so on and so on, until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion… With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”

The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

“I miss you! I really miss you! & I tried to visit you, but the dumb ass security guard wouldn’t let me in the zoo!”

“Pussy is like a peach. It’s fat, full of juice, & if you go in deep enough, you’ll get a nut.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“After great sex, she lies there playing with his penis. He asks, “Do you want more?” “No,” she says, “just admiring your penis. I miss mine.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose. How does a vagina look after sex? Ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“SPECIAL REPORT: The police are arresting hoochies w/ good coochies. Run bitch run!! They already got me!” (I’ve also heard this one the other way around… “You don’t have to worry, but come bail me out.”)

“Li’l red riding hood met the big bad wolf at the club. He took her home & asked, “Can I stick it in?” She said, “No, Just stick to the story & eat me!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“Mr Penis said to the balls, “Get ready we’re going to a party.” His balls said, “Fuckin’ liar! You always go inside & leave us outside knockin’, bitch!”

“Women have unique magic tricks. They get wet w/o water, bleed w/o injury, and make boneless things hard.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“How do you feel abt oral sex? Does it go both ways? If so, then sitting on my face is a good idea. I’d like to invite you over for a formal sitting.”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“3 of my hoes escaped last night. I found 1 @ a strip club, 1 on a corner, but where the fuck are you?!”

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

“Snow White was fired from Disney World today. She was caught sitting on Pinochio’s face screaming, “Lie mother fucker, lie!”

So anyways, Blakk Frogg made it back from a business trip to Las Vegas last night… a little after 1 AM. He had all sorts of ‘interesting’ dreams and those dreams brought him to the conclusion that he needed to post something called “I Love Wicked Wednesdays”.

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

What makes those so wicked? Beats the Hell out of Blakk Frogg… so get over it. 😛

= = = = = =

Find more ‘naughty myspace comments’ at Americas Best MySpace Adult Comments.

A guy is out with buddies – has few drinks – is feeling a little frisky but, true to his wife, goes home.

He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open, so he gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth. She starts to choke, but recovers and asks, “What did you put in my mouth?”

He says, “Two aspirin.”

She replies, “BUT I DON’T HAVE A HEADACHE!”

He says, – “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

= = = = =

Note: Posting that last joke has resulted in Blakk Frogg going into hiding because women worldwide now want him dead. d-e-a-d.

Doctor Chris had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day Long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:

“Chris, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Chris.”

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:

“Chris……………..”

“Chris…………..”

“Chris………..”

“You’re a Veterinarian, you sick bastard.”

Sarcastic (and sick) MySpace Comments

In honor of the cold weather so many people must cope with at this time of year, Blakk Frogg would like to offer the following ‘thermometer tribute’ photograph:

Blakk Frogg despises most magazines and television programs because they contain WAY too many ads and all of those advertisements… LIE! So, without further ado, Blakk Frogg proudly posts a blog entry called ‘Truth in Advertising’.

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

If you liked those, you’ll LOVE the 1,300+ other Sarcastic MySpace Comments currently available on SarcasticMySpace.Com!