Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Use these adult and sexual MySpace comments to add spice to your profiles, blogs, and your friends’ comment areas. Blakk Frogg adds new stuff all the time to Americas Best MySpace Comments so you’ll never run out of new things to post!

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

Americas Best Adult & Sexual MySpace Comments

There you have them… Five of teh most popular sexual and adult myspace comments for the month of December 2007 on Americas-Best.Com.

Blakk Frogg will post more shortly, so stay tuned!

Announcement:  Blakk Frogg just created a new Adult MySpace Comments web site featuring ONLY adult myspace comments that he collects from sick people like. . . .you!  😉

This is important and worth the time to read! Warning! Be careful if you eat at “RED LOBSTER RESTAURANTS”.

A young woman was having a meal at the restaurant and suddenly began to experience intense chest pains. Nothing her friends or the restaurant personnel did would relieve the pain.

“911” was called and an ambulance was sent and the woman was transported to a nearby hospital where doctors removed the women’s blouse.

As soon as this was done, emergency room personnel were able to properly diagnose the cause of the pain:

Sarcastic MySpace Comments

Could you imagine working for a 500 (or so) person agency, company or other organization whose staff contained folks of this nature? Take a look through the list and ask yourself if you would have any faith in them. These numbers caome from just 1 years worth of data, so just imagine if we looked at this group’s full rap sheet!

• 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
• 7 have been arrested for fraud
• 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
• 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
• 3 have done time for assault
• 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
• 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
• 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
• 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
• 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year…

After reading all those charges, allegations and convictions, would you feel confident that your retirement funds will stay safe in the hands of those responsible for the organization? Also, as an added bonus, can you guess what REAL LIFE ORGANIZATION we have just examined?organization this is?

It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Americas Best MySpace Political Comments

A Bulgarian woman driver escaped relatively unscathed from a head-on pile-up with another vehicle when her 40DD breast implants absorbed most of the impact, Ananova reports.

Elena Marinova, 24, of Sofia, pranged her motor in the northern city of Ruse. Both cars were written off and the other driver seriously injured, local paper Standart reported.

A police expert explained: “[The implants] worked just like airbags – protecting the victim’s ribs and vital organs from damage.” He did, however, add: “They are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do.”

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

Quick and easy and so delicious!

Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing – imagine that.

When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try:

BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN

• 6-7 lb. Chicken
• 1 cup melted butter
• 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
• 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER’S LOW FAT). Add salt/pepper to taste.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.

Listen for the popping sounds.

When the chicken’s ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it’s done.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

8 things you’ll never hear a man say:

8) Here honey, you use the remote.

7) You know, I’d like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

6) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That’s one movie I gotta see!

5) While I’m up, can I get you anything?

4) Sex isn’t that important, sometimes I just want to be held.

3) Aww, forget Monday night football, let’s watch Melrose Place.

2) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.

1) We never talk anymore.

8 things you’ll never hear a woman say:

8) What do you mean today’s our anniversary?

7) Can we not talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV.

6) Ohh, this diamond is way to big!

5) Can our relationship get a little more physical? I’m tired of being ‘just friends’

4) Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?

3) Aww, don’t stop for directions, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.

2) I don’t care if it’s on sale, 300 dollars is way to much for a designer dress.

1) Hey, pull my finger!

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie.

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So…what’ll it be?”

The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East . See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.”

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years…I’m good but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able find the right man. You know – one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for… a good man.”

The genie let out a sigh and said, “Let me see the fucking map again.”

————-

Find more jokes here.

‘Twas the night before Christmas-Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of “Thanks Santa”-what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money-The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes-if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kid these days-they all are the pits
They want the impossible – Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls… Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s — No request for them,
They want computers and robots… they think – I’m IBM!

Flying through the air… dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a WOMAN — I’m going SOUTH for the season!

Americas Best MySpace Comments

Although Blakk Frogg has the utmost respect for the fat man in the red suit, he does think the old boy could use a little amusement on his one night of worldwide travel…

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
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4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. :)” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. :(“

11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”

12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.

14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.

15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.

17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.

18. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue for personal injury.

Americas Best MySpace Comments

19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.

20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us…”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free myspace pics, comments & graphics

As I walked down a busy sidewalk in the middle afternoon, already late for an important meeting, I spotted one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds now found in pretty much every city these days.

Wearing what I can only describe as tattered rags and carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, this poor soul’s pitiful condition pulled heavy on my heart strings.

Some people turned to stare while others quickly looked away as if the sight, itself, would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling the words once spoken by a priest I’d read about many years ago, a man who’d made an admonition to ‘care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked’. His words echoed in my head I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a deep, hidden beauty. A small voice inside my head called out to me and said, “Reach out, reach out!”

Sarcastic (and sometimes sexy!) MySpace Comments

And so I did…

Sarcastic (and sometimes painful!) MySpace Comments

I wonder if the priest went through this?