Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

Pissed Off Santa Poem

Posted by: admin In: Adult Humor|Sarcastic

‘Twas the night before Christmas-Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of “Thanks Santa”-what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money-The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes-if that ain’t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kid these days-they all are the pits
They want the impossible – Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls… Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo’s — No request for them,
They want computers and robots… they think – I’m IBM!

Flying through the air… dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I’m quitting this job there’s just no enjoyment
I’ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There’s no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a WOMAN — I’m going SOUTH for the season!

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First of all, you will like this site because it has lots of sarcasm, plenty of humor, and a healthy dose of everything your dear mommy warned you not touch when taking a shower at the local athletic club.


  • admin: How can people not like this photo? Seriously. These girls have WONDERFUL personalities that just leap out of their shirts, er, eyes. Yes. Blakk Fr
  • admin: In other news, the children ingested so much of the drug that it took their parents a solid two weeks to catch the little bastards and beat their behi
  • Intimate Touch Tuesday | MySpace Comments & Jokes: [...] you survived the horror called Monday and showed back up to face… Tuesday. Good for you! As a reward for your devotion and effort, [...]