Blakk Frogg conducted an independent study recently and determined that large breasted women have poor aim when shooting handguns.
He rationalized that the presence of excess mammary tissue caused a shift in gravitational forces affecting the barrel of the handgun, thus causing their bullets to miss their intended targets.
While he cannot fully substantiate this claim, he does review the following research material quite frequently:
Sarcastic MySpace Comments
Any questions?
Do you have problems in the mornings that involve running out of time to sit down to a good, healthy breakfast? Do you frequently find yourself running around like a headless chicken as you scramble to get your oversleeping ass out the door and on your way to work?
If so, then you have probably had some interesting food items next to you on the front seat of your car before… kinda’ like the pic below, perhaps?
You, too, can experience a moment like we did if you cook the bacon the night before. Then simply hit ’snooze’ too many times the next morning, run around trying to get ready for work in half the time you really need, grab the bacon and diet dew, and get on down the road.
Not the healthiest breakfast in the world, no, but it DOES contain bacon and caffeine… so shut the Hell up and enjoy!
The other day we found ourselves faced with a wonderful situation: We had beer, bacon AND a couple of ribeye steaks. Therefore we drank the beer and wrapped the bacon around the ribeyes. Seemed like the right thing to do. We suggest you try it sometime. Preferably on the day you ask us to come over for dinner. Ha ha!
Please accept our deepest and most sincere apologies for not having pictures of the cooked bacon-wrapped ribeye steaks. We unfortunately drank all the beers we had at the house, got drunk, cooked the steaks, and ate without remembering to take pictures. Oops.
Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, in California?
California became a state and…
- The State had no electricity.
- The State had no money.
- Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
- There were gun fights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real breasts… and men didn’t hold hands.
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Blakk Frogg likes real breasts on his women and he enjoys looking at the real AND fake ones on Girls for MySpace.
Sometimes men and women don’t quite see eye to eye on things and Blakk Frogg thinks he may have found the problem. Men and women have different definitions for some very basic words. See below for details!
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
- Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
- Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
- Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
- Male…. Playing football without a cup.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
- Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
- Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
- Female…. A desire to get married and raise a family.
- Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
- Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
- Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
- Female…. An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
- Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-troh l) n.
- Female…. A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
- Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
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Your sister hangs out at Americas-Best.Com ….. and so should you.
Once again the infamous Blakk Frogg dares to push the limits of good taste by publishing a blog entitled “Oral Sex”.
Oh, and if you HAVE to ask what “oral sex” means, either ‘cuz you never learned or have long since forgotten its meaning, you might wanna’ consider visiting your local ‘Red Light District’ for a crash course. And bring cash, ‘cuz Sally Streetwalker doesn’t accept American Express!
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics
In case you want ’em for YOUR MySpace pages, blogs, whatever…. visit Simply Frogg MySpace Comments and pick up the drag-n-drop code today!
I said TODAY, damn it! TODAY!
– blakk frogg
