Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.

She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said.

‘Glory be unto the Faaaaather, and unto the Sonnnnn, and into the hole he gooooes. Amen.’

Americas Best MySpace Redneck Comments

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

Americas Best MySpace Girls Comments

A real woman is a man’s best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible. . .

No wait… Sorry… I’m thinking of beer.

That’s what beer does…

Never mind.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Before any of you trolls out there attempt to lay the blame on Blakk Frogg’s doorstep, let the record show that Blakk Frogg in now way, shape or form condones stupidity of this magnitude.

He does, however, hope the idiot that attempted to play real-life, unscripted and non-choreographed Frogger (an old school video game where a frog attempts to hop its way across numerous lanes perilous traffic) near Clemson University makes a full recovery — and lives to suffer the full lifetime of humiliation he surely deserves for his recent blatant act of stupidity.

CLEMSON, SC (AP) – A man has been hospitalized after Clemson police say he was hit by an SUV while playing a real-life version of the video game Frogger.

Multiple media outlets report that the 23-year-old man was taken to a hospital in Anderson after he was struck at around 9 p.m. Monday.

In the Frogger arcade game, players move frogs through traffic on a busy road and through a hazard-filled river. Before he was hit, police say the 23-year-old had been discussing the game with his friends.

Chief Jimmy Dixon says the man yelled “go” and darted into oncoming traffic in the four-lane highway.

No charges are expected against the driver. The name of the man who was struck has not been released, and police say he is not a Clemson student.

On another note, Blakk Frogg loves beer, bacon and beating bigots brutally with big bags of bananas!

OK, just so everyone knows, the folks responsible for More Bacon Please have NOT become vegetarians. Apparently the lack of recent posts has made SOME idiots, er, people out there believe we gave up eating meat.

Preposterous!

We have not given up eating meat and we CERTAINLY have not given up eating bacon. We just cannot AFFORD to eat as much as we did this time last year. On average, the price of bacon has increased way more than our wallets can stomach — despite the grumblings of our stomachs.

Standard, generic bacon rose from its regular cost of around $2.25 per pack to over $3.00 per pack…. an increase of around 33%. Really? 33% and no one sees a problem with that? Hmmm…. That’s fu#ked up.

Brand name bacon rose from its regular, non-sale cost of around $3.99 per pack to over $7.00 per pack! We really don’t need to do the math for you on THAT abusive pricing, do we? Somebody’s getting rich while us, poor WORKING CLASS folks have to ration our bacon intake. Hmmm…. We find that REALLY fu#ked up.

So… What gives? The price of bacon remained relatively stable during times when gas prices soared out of control and costs of other items jumped up because companies incurred greater fuel and transportation costs. Now, however, over the past few months bacon’s pricing has jumped up quite a bit — and for apparently no reason?

Unacceptable! Completely unacceptable! We DEMAND reasonable bacon pricing!

You Know You Love Bacon When… Pigs Protest Your Every Meal!

Yep. We finally dragged our bacon-loving selves away from the bacon-filled table long enough to post another article on this site. Actually, we have not had the MONEY to buy bacon recently due to evil, greedy big business types jacking up the prices on all grades of bacon and keeping us from enjoying our favorite snack.

So anyways, in lieu of a tasty bacon story, today we’d like to share a short and to the point bacon joke that we heard recently:

Years ago it was suggested ‘ that an apple a day kept the doctor away ‘ But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Did someone say… BACON SANDWICH?!?!?

We will never grow tired of that picture. Ever. EVER.

Once again that bastard of a Frogg broke all new(?) ground by digging deep into his twisted little mind, pulled out a great(?) idea, and wasted the entirety of his weekend putting up on the internet for all to see. Yep. Blakk Frogg needs a life!

Check out Frogg Wear’s Halloween Costume & Accessory Blog… or that evil amphibian will start drinking, catch the bus to your place, hose down your front door with freshly processed beer, and leave a large ‘steamer’ in your Mom’s prize winning flowerbed!

Yes… Even Amphibians Like Naughty Nurses!