Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

 Latest Immigration Poll in Arizona:
  The latest telephone poll taken by the Arizona Governor’s office, asked whether people who live in  Arizona think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

 29% of respondents answered:  “Yes, it is a serious problem.”

71% of respondents answered:  “No es una problema seriosa.”

—————-

Disclaimer: The mighty Blakk Frogg does NOT discriminate against homosexuals, mexicans, ugly people, anti-Castro demonstrators, flying squirrels, people of color, people who lack color, straight people, crooked people, people who hate people OR people who love too many people, or the wrong people, and caught the gift that keeps on giving…. so don’t flood Blakk Frogg with hate emails ‘cuz he posted this.

It was funny, and you laughed… so shut your stinkin’ pie hole!

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!”

The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get the hell out!”

———————

With an attitude like hers she ought to work for Sarcastic MySpace

One day, a wife greeted her husband at the front door wearing a very sexy nightie. Before he could speak, she said, “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So he tied her up and went fishing.

——————-

A classy guy like that shops at Da’ Frogg Store and loves to flaunt the latest Frogg Wear.  Oh, and for those seeking pretty girls, well, try Girls for MySpace on for size.

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These 500 Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee and North & South Carolina boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following five facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The mess in Iraq is expected to be over in about a week.

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry.

When it came back there are still stains in her panties.

The next week she encloses a note to the Chinese laundryman that says, “Use more soap on panties.”

This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. “Use more soap on panties.”

Finally fed up the Chinese man responded with his own note that said, “Use more paper on ass.”

Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics

On July 20, 1969, the first man walked on the moon. When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong made those first footprints, he not only gave his famous, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck Mr. Gorsky.”

Many people at NASA thought it was a remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995 in Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

Armstrong explained, “When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. My friend hit a fly ball that landed in front of my neighbor’s bedroom windows. My neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, “Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

———————–

Check out the out-of-this-world jokes on Simply Frogg …. and maybe Mr. Gorsky will get lucky!

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?

A terrible thing:

No one to blame.

For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle.

His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 & your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.”

The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, where are you going?”

Little Joe told him; “I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage & no bike.”

highlight text in the box and press Ctrl-C to copy the HTML code
<a><img src="http://americas-best.com/graphics/pics_hot-snatch.jpg" alt="Americas Best MySpace Comments" border="0"><br /><font size="2"><strong>Americas Best MySpace Comments</a></strong></font>

———————

Blakk Frogg wants a bicycle, too, damn it….

Most of us have had the unfortunate pleasure of going into work with a hangover. Life gets pretty amusing for the span of time that you spend at work after downing a few too many brewskis, taking too many shots, and mixing too many different liquors the night before; especially if you get MAYBE, at BEST, two or three hours of sleep.

So, without further ado, “You know you’re in bad shape at work when…“

1. The phone looks “too heavy to lift” when it rings.
2. You groan every time you go to reach for the mouse.
3. The thought of going to lunch sounds too much like work.
4. Fax machines remind you of horror film sound effects.
5. The clock snickers at you.
6. Co-workers refuse to enter the bathroom after you for fear of what you may leave in there.
7. Mt. Dew tastes like an elixir of the gods.
8. You empty the water cooler by yourself…. And still can’t pee.
9. Every time you exhale, a key on your keyboard melts.
10. The mouthpiece on your phone gets disinfected by the vapors in your breath.
11. Fluorescent lighting above you starts to sizzle your skin.
12. The computer monitor in front of you looks and acts like a spotlight.
13. You begin to sweat acetone from your eyelids.
14. The idea of pooping your pants at your desk does not sound all that bad anymore.
15. It feels like someone lit your eyeballs on fire with a road flare.
16. Although the thought of alcohol offends you, Happy Hour still sounds like fun after work.
17. You cannot, for the life of you, figure out what is so Happy about Happy Hour anymore.
18. The hamster in your thought wheel is playing with a jackhammer.
19. Elevator music offends you… a lot more than usual.

Thank you for reading an honest to goodness Blakk Frogg original.  Now somebody PLEASE get Blakk Frogg a beer!

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. “You know,” he says, “I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let’s talk.”

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, “What would you like to discuss?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” says the guy. “How about nuclear power?

“OK,” says the blonde. “That could be an interesting topic, but let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff ~ grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So tell me,” says the blonde, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power, when you don’t know shit?”

Americas Best MySpace Sarcastic Comments