Blakk Frogg Joke Blog

1) You are bald your whole life

2) You have a hole in your head that leaks

3) Your neighbors are nuts

4) The guy behind you is an asshole, and…

5) Everytime you get excited, you throw up and then faint!

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A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, “Did you call for me?”

The man replies, “No, what do you mean?”

She says, “You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.” Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Later, the man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, “Did you call for me?” says the hairy man.

“No, what do you mean?” asks the newcomer.

“It’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.” The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. “May I help you?” she asks.

The man yells, “Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.”

“But, Sir,” she replies, “you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.”

The man replies, “Listen lady, I’m 69 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day. I’m outta here!”

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There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreation-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as

Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or

Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

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SarcasticMySpace.Com has more than 1,800 sarcastic, funny, sexual and redneck myspace comments to choose from but SOME of you keep insisting that Blakk Frogg take time out of his busy schedule to list the most popular sarcastic myspace comments.

Lazy bastards! Blakk Frogg hopes you choke on the most popular sarcastic myspace comments for. . . January 2008

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

What took so long for the world renowned Blakk Frogg to post this? Simple: ‘Cuz he’s always froggin’ drunk!

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A city councilman in Utah, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line, at great expense.

Recently, Mark Easton called the city, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn’t like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate. When they went to Mark’s home to see the vent view, this is what they found…

SarcasticMySpace.Com has more than 1,800 sarcastic, funny, sexual and redneck myspace comments to choose from but SOME of you keep insisting that Blakk Frogg take time out of his busy schedule to list the most popular sarcastic myspace comments.

Lazy bastards! Blakk Frogg hopes you choke on the most popular sarcastic myspace comments for. . . February 2008

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

Sarcastic MySpace Comments. . . Don’t Suck!

What took so long for the world renowned Blakk Frogg to post this? Simple: ‘Cuz he’s always froggin’ drunk!

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Though far away and (hopefully) a distant forecast for events in the life of Blakk Frogg, he must face the inevitable — and that inevitable fact deals with the idea that one day he will have to more or less PRAY that someone will touch his private parts. . . besides a licensed medical physician or an attendant at a nursing home.

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So without further ado, let us now enjoy a joke about old people and sex. . .

An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.

He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, “There really is no justice in the world.”

The other little old lady asked, “What do you mean by that?”

The first little old lady replied, “Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. . .”

“Now that I’ m 80, though, the damned things grow wild on the beach. . . and I’m too old to squat!”

Yep. Some girls truly deserve the name of ‘Gold Digger’ and some guys truly deserve the name of ‘gilolo’. Why? Because they make truly ignorant statements like THIS when they think no one can hear them:

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Seriously speaking all you girls and guys who make your living by opening your intimate parts to the highest bidder. If you cannot get it on your own through hard work, honest effort and legitimate means, maybe that Porsche just wasn’t meant for you and MAYBE people would not look at you like a. . . WHORE if you got off your knees, back, etc. — and got a job that didn’t involve excessive sucking, unhealthy amounts of licking, and definitely unhealthy amounts of sweat rolling off the backs and brows of people who use you for their sick little fantasies and toss you away like the prophylactic devices one can only hope you insisted on using for your tryst(s).

Americas Best MySpace Sex Comments

Blakk Frogg works hard for all his ill-gotten goods. Oops. He meant to say, “Stuff.” Honestly. Ask his agent at the Brothel Catering (exclusively) to Wealthy Women w/ Big Boobs, Thin Waists and Neatly Trimmed Beavers.

Look it up. . . It’s a real place.  😛

Although Blakk Frogg has paid the Olympics next to no attention at all, he has found the displays of National Pride in the stands at various events quite uplifting. Take, for example, this colorful young lady who CLEARLY loves the United States:

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Then, of course, you’ll always have those few individuals who go a bit overboard with their enthusiasm for their country and make somewhat of an ass out of themselves — all in the name of loving their country:

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In either case, though, their pride in the United States shines brightly and although Blakk Frogg would much rather have a stadium filled with fans like the sexy young lady in the American flag bikini set, he seriously doubts that beautiful babe can chug beers and do belly flops better than the big guy!

A woman, standing nude, looks into the bathroom mirror and says to her husband, “I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment.”

The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

He never heard the gunshot.

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